While researching a paper about George Washington Carver in celebration of Black History Month, Steve uncovers a conspiracy that's been going on since the Civil War.
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A misunderstanding at the CIA leads Stan to believe it's the end of the world. Even after he realizes his error, he keeps his family convinced they are the last people on Earth so they will respect him.
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Stan goes to great lengths to never, ever end up in a situation ending with Francine telling him, "I told you so." She lets him hook his boss Bullock up with her friend, but when Bullock accidentally kills the woman, Stan frames Francine.
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Stan gets jealous when he discovers how promiscuous Francine was in the past. He decides the only way to even the score is to divorce Francine and sow some wild oats of his own. Meanwhile, Steve gets addicted to an energy drink.
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Stan takes Steve and his friends on a cattle drive through Langley Falls in an effort to turn them into men. But when Stan eats beef tainted with mad cow disease, it's up to the boys to save the day.
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Stan tries to get an unsuspecting Jeff Fischer out of his life for good by taking him on a road trip to Florida, where there is a warrant out for Jeff's arrest.
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The Smiths find out that their outstanding family vacations have only been experiences in virtual reality. Stan vows to redeem himself by taking the family on a cruise, but when they are stranded on a remote island, things get out of hand.
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Stan prays for a friend and thinks God sent him one, but the friend turns out to be an atheist. Stan tries to convince his friend that God exists by making his life extremely hard, but the plan backfires.
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Francine's Chinese adoptive parents drop in. When Stan tries to find Francine's real parents, he discovers that they are selfish people who gave up Francine because she would cramp their lifestyle.
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Stan, unhappy with the decisions Hayley is making for herself, decides to set her up with a proper husband. He gets her to go along by using her "activation word" which was ingrained in her.
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While playing poker with the guys, Stan is exposed as a virgin, but not in the traditional way - he's never killed anyone. Roger and the guys help Stan bust his killing cherry.
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When Francine decides to be a surrogate for her gay neighbors Terry and Greg, Stan's Republican blood boils. When the baby is born, Stan kidnaps her and heads to the Nebraska border, where gay couples have no rights.
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After Stan comes home from another dangerous mission, he finds that his family has decked the halls with boughs of holly and donned themselves with gay apparel, but just not to his satisfaction.
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Stan and the family are characters in a James Bond-style spoof. Stan must stop Tearjerker, played by Roger, a diabolical film producer who makes movies that can kill.
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Francine pushes Stan to open up to her emotionally, but she gets more than she bargained for when he tells her that he killed her best friend Julie's husband. Meanwhile, Roger plays psychiatrist to help them work through their issues.
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Stan goes in search of a former KGB agent, Sergei, and is shocked to find that the man is his new next-door neighbor and that Sergei has already turned Steve into a communist.
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When the CIA initiates an Alien Task Force, a peculiar twist of fate puts Roger in charge of the task force in disguise, who marks Stan as an alien to protect his own identity. Meanwhile Francine comes to grips with being left-handed.
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After officially being declared dead due to an accident, Stan comes back to life and realizes he dreams of leaving a legacy on the world. He excavates his home in search of Ollie North's Contra-band buried treasure.
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