DVS Offerings

Tuesday, Sep 22
12:00 AM

Bigfat (DVS)

Family Guy

After the airplane he's riding in crashes in the Canadian wilderness, Peter transforms into a feral beast.

TV-14

12:30 AM

Total Recall (DVS)

Family Guy

Peter discovers that he's anything but irreplaceable when Lois begins hanging out with his friends; Stewie and Brian embark on a mission to reunite Stewie with his teddy bear.

TV-14

1:00 AM

Long March, The (DVS)

American Dad

Hayley and Jeff move into a van and start living life on the open road. Francine and Steve are haunted by a rideshare driver that they rated poorly.

TV-14

1:30 AM

Hall Monitor and the Lunch Lady, The (DVS)

American Dad

Steve goes undercover as a school hall monitor. Roger and Stan go catatonic after witnessing a grisly escalator accident.

TV-14

2:30 AM

Moo Moo (DVS)

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Terry wants to file an official complaint against a police officer who stopped him while he was off-duty in his own neighborhood, but Capt. Holt has other ideas. Jake and Amy get a glimpse into the difficulties of parenthood and answer some tough questions when they babysit Terry's kids.

TV-14

3:00 AM

Cop-Con (DVS)

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

The Nine-Nine heads to the Tri-State Police Officers' annual Cop-Con, which is usually the precinct's excuse for a big annual party. The squad's fun is threatened this year when Holt asks them to be on their best behavior.

TV-14

4:00 AM

Chasing Amy (DVS)

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Jake and Rosa search for Amy, who suddenly vanished hours before taking the Sergeants Exam.

TV-14

4:30 AM

Your Honor (DVS)

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Captain Holt's mom seeks support from the precinct after her house is robbed. Terry, Rosa and Boyle remodel the break room, and Amy teaches Gina how to change her car tire.

TV-14

5:00 AM

Slaughterhouse, The (DVS)

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Jake and Rosa try earn the respect of their idol, and Charles, Terry and Gina test different parenting methods to resolve a conflict between Scully and Hitchcock.

TV-14

5:30 AM

Bank Job, The (DVS)

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Jake and Rosa continue their search for a bank-robbing operation with Lt. Hawkins and discover a dangerous secret, leading them to call for back-up from Holt and Pimento; and Boyle objects to Gina's new boyfriend.

TV-14

6:00 AM

Crime & Punishment (DVS)

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Jake and Rosa are framed for a crime they didn't commit, and it's up to the squad to find a way to bust them out.

TV-14

6:30 AM

And the Knock Off Knockout (DVS)

2 Broke Girls

Max and Caroline get into a legal battle with two teens who knocked off their cupcake T-shirts and sold them.

TV-14

7:00 AM

And the Great Unwashed (DVS)

2 Broke Girls

Max and Caroline learn that one of their customers at the diner is a successful photographer who is keeping a secret.

TV-14

7:30 AM

And the Cupcake Captives (DVS)

2 Broke Girls

Sophie's wedding is interrupted by a hostage situation. Meanwhile, Max and Caroline's cupcake business gets some unwanted attention when a tenant who is wearing one of their company's T-shirts is arrested.

TV-14

11:00 AM

Barber, The (DVS)

Seinfeld

Jerry doesn't have the nerve to dump his regular barber.

TV-PG

11:30 AM

Non-Fat Yogurt, The (DVS)

Seinfeld

Jerry and Elaine suspect Kramer's yogurt shop is causing their weight gain.

TV-PG

12:00 PM

Masseuse, The (DVS)

Seinfeld

Jerry can't get his masseuse girlfriend to give him a massage.

TV-PG

12:30 PM

Cigar Store Indian, The (DVS)

Seinfeld

Jerry's gift to Elaine offends Elaine's friend.

TV-PG

1:00 PM

One with the Jam, The (DVS)

Friends

Monica wants to have a baby. A man is stalking Phoebe.

TV-PG

1:30 PM

One with the Metaphorical Tunnel, The (DVS)

Friends

Chandler wants to commit to a relationship with Janice. Phoebe poses as Joey's agent.

TV-PG

2:00 PM

One with Frank Jr., The (DVS)

Friends

Phoebe tries to be more friendly with her half-brother. Ross meets Isabella Rossellini.

TV-PG

2:30 PM

One with the Flashback, The (DVS)

Friends

The friends recall secrets from their pasts.

TV-PG

3:00 PM

One with the Race Car Bed, The (DVS)

Friends

Joey sees Janice kissing her husband, whom she is divorcing while she dates Chandler. Rachel's father clashes with Ross.

TV-PG

3:30 PM

One with the Giant Poking Device, The (DVS)

Friends

Chandler and Janice make a difficult decision about their relationship. Monica accidentally injures Ben and tries to hide it from Ross.

TV-PG

4:00 PM

One with the Football, The (DVS)

Friends

On Thanksgiving, a good-natured football game between the friends reveals some serious rivalries.

TV-PG

4:30 PM

One Where Rachel Quits, The (DVS)

Friends

Rachel wonders if she'll ever get another job after she quits Central Perk. Joey's new job selling Christmas trees upsets Phoebe. Ross breaks a little girl's leg.

TV-PG

5:00 PM

One Where Chandler Can't Remember Which Sister, The (DVS)

Friends

Rachel meets a handsome stranger, who might help her career. Chandler gets into trouble with Joey's sisters.

TV-14

5:30 PM

One with All the Jealousy, The (DVS)

Friends

Ross overreacts when Rachel starts working with a handsome guy. Monica becomes enamored with a sexy busboy.

TV-PG

6:00 PM

And Then There Were Fewer Part 1 & 2 (DVS)

Family Guy

Some vacations are to die for.

TV-14

6:30 PM

One with Phoebe's Ex-Partner, The (DVS)

Friends

Phoebe's ex-singing partner wants to make Phoebe's signature song, Smelly Cat, a commercial success. Chandler dates a woman with a handicap.

TV-PG

7:00 PM

Shallow Vows (DVS)

American Dad

Upset that Francine has let herself go, Stan takes drastic measures when she asks him to renew their wedding vows.

TV-14

7:30 PM

My Morning Straitjacket (DVS)

American Dad

After attending a concert with Hayley, Stan becomes obsessed with her music.

TV-14

8:00 PM

G-String Circus (DVS)

American Dad

When Hayley rejects Stan's advice, he decides to start a dry-cleaning business run by a bunch of strippers. But when the business fails miserably, he is forced to become a male stripper to make some extra money.

TV-14

8:30 PM

Rapture's Delight (DVS)

American Dad

The Rapture happens on Christmas Eve, and Stan is left behind.

TV-14

9:00 PM

And Then There Were Fewer Part 1 & 2 (DVS)

Family Guy

Some vacations are to die for.

TV-14

9:30 PM

Matrimonial Momentum, The (DVS)

Big Bang Theory, The

Season 9 premiere, Penny has a problem dealing with Leonard's confession about having kissed another woman, while Sheldon is confused about Amy calling a timeout on their relationship.

TV-PG

10:00 PM

Conversion, The (DVS)

Seinfeld

Jerry thinks his girlfriend has a fungus; George converts.

TV-PG

10:30 PM

Stall, The (DVS)

Seinfeld

Elaine's toilet stall has no tissue. George acts giddy around Elaine's boyfriend.

TV-PG

11:00 PM

Graduation Transmission, The (DVS)

Big Bang Theory, The

Wolowitz questions his engineering abilities when he and Sheldon can't get a drone to fly. Meanwhile, a canceled flight nearly prevents Leonard from giving the commencement address at his former high school. And Raj pits his parents against each other when his father cuts him off financially.

TV-PG

11:30 PM

Boiling Points (DVS)

Lost Resort

Emotions are at an all-time high during a second Rage Ceremony. There's trouble in paradise when drama erupts between Vairrun and Meco. Greg boils over and loses his cool on Robin, Thea surprises everyone when she makes a decision about Brandon.

TV-14

Wednesday, Sep 23
12:00 AM

Commitment Determination, The (DVS)

Big Bang Theory, The

In the Season 8 finale, Leonard and Penny are pressured to set a wedding date by Sheldon, whose relationship with Amy has taken an interesting turn.

TV-14

12:30 AM

Matrimonial Momentum, The (DVS)

Big Bang Theory, The

Season 9 premiere, Penny has a problem dealing with Leonard's confession about having kissed another woman, while Sheldon is confused about Amy calling a timeout on their relationship.

TV-PG

1:00 AM

Separation Oscillation, The (DVS)

Big Bang Theory, The

To ease Penny's mind, Leonard pays a visit to the woman he kissed during his expedition to the North Sea, while Sheldon's breakup with Amy leads him to retaliate by shooting a special episode of "Fun with Flags".

TV-PG

1:30 AM

Bachelor Party Corrosion, The (DVS)

Big Bang Theory, The

The guys surprise Leonard with a belated bachelor-party weekend in Mexico, but their plans hit a bump in the road when they get a flat tire on the way. Meanwhile, the girls lean on Penny to tell her unsuspecting family that she and Leonard eloped.

TV-PG

2:30 AM

Boiling Points (DVS)

Lost Resort

Emotions are at an all-time high during a second Rage Ceremony. There's trouble in paradise when drama erupts between Vairrun and Meco. Greg boils over and loses his cool on Robin, Thea surprises everyone when she makes a decision about Brandon.

TV-14

6:30 AM

And the Fat Cat (DVS)

2 Broke Girls

Max and Caroline's missing cat, Nancy, is returned by a handsome businessman; and Nancy comes home with a big surprise.

TV-14

7:00 AM

And the Zero Tolerance (DVS)

2 Broke Girls

Max and Caroline get second jobs as a pastry chef and a hostess at a trendy restaurant to help pay off their bank loan.

TV-14

7:30 AM

And the High Hook-Up (DVS)

2 Broke Girls

Max pursues a handsome new coworker at the restaurant, despite the owner's "no hook-up" rule.

TV-14

11:00 AM

Marine Biologist, The (DVS)

Seinfeld

George poses as a marine biologist.

TV-PG

11:30 AM

Dinner Party, The (DVS)

Seinfeld

The gang shops for last-minute gifts for a dinner party.

TV-PG

12:00 PM

Pie, The (DVS)

Seinfeld

A date's refusal to eat pie obsesses Jerry. A mannequin resembles Elaine.

TV-PG

12:30 PM

Stand-In, The (DVS)

Seinfeld

Kramer is a stand-in on a soap opera; George wants to break up with a girlfriend.

TV-PG

1:00 PM

One Where Ross and Rachel Take a Break Part 1, The (DVS)

Friends

Phoebe becomes involved with a foreign diplomat. Ross becomes involved with another woman after a fight with Rachel.

TV-PG

1:30 PM

One the Morning After Part 2, The (DVS)

Friends

Ross wakes up with Chloe but an oblivious Rachel wants to resume their relationship.

TV-PG

2:00 PM

One Without the Ski Trip, The (DVS)

Friends

Ross and Rachel remain apart while their friends feel forced to choose between them.

TV-PG

2:30 PM

One with the Hypnosis Tape, The (DVS)

Friends

Phoebe is distraught when her brother wants to marry a woman twice his age. While working as a waitress, Monica gets a tip from an admirer worth a small fortune. A hypnosis tape makes Chandler act like a woman.

TV-PG

3:00 PM

One with the Tiny T-Shirt, The (DVS)

Friends

Ross is upset when Rachel returns his personal belongings and dates Mark. Monica dates a millionaire.

TV-PG

3:30 PM

One with the Dollhouse, The (DVS)

Friends

Joey thinks he's found his true love. Rachel's boss dates Chandler, creating big trouble for Rachel. Monica inherits a dollhouse.

TV-14

4:00 PM

One with a Chick and a Duck, The (DVS)

Friends

When Pete buys a restaurant, Monica must make a difficult decision. Ross makes a sacrifice for Rachel. Joey buys Chandler an unusual pet.

TV-PG

4:30 PM

One with the Screamer, The (DVS)

Friends

Ross tries to convince Rachel that her date is psychotic. Joey's play gets terrible reviews.

TV-PG

5:00 PM

One with Ross's Thing, The (DVS)

Friends

Ross finds a strange growth on his buttocks. Phoebe can't choose between two guys. Monica's boyfriend surprises her.

TV-PG

5:30 PM

One with the Ultimate Fighting Champion, The (DVS)

Friends

Monica's boyfriend cannot stop fighting. Chandler's boss is overly friendly.

TV-PG

6:00 PM

One at the Beach, The (DVS)

Friends

The friends stay at a beach house. Phoebe meets someone who knows details about her family. Rachel expresses her jealousy of Ross' uninhibited girlfriend.

TV-PG

6:30 PM

One with the Jellyfish, The (DVS)

Friends

Ross loves dating Rachel again but hates what he did to accomplish the reconciliation. Phoebe gets to know her mother.

TV-PG

7:00 PM

Don't Look a Smith Horse in the Mouth (DVS)

American Dad

When Francine demands that Stan get rid of his gas-guzzling SUV because it's draining the family of money, he hatches a plan with Roger at the local horse track to avoid giving up his ride. Meanwhile, it's up to Steve and his friends to help out an old friend.

TV-14

7:30 PM

Jones for a Smith, A (DVS)

American Dad

Stan puts down liberal social programs because he thinks they're a waste of money and gives Francine a hard time for lending a helping hand at the local homeless shelter. When Stan develops a nasty addiction and needs help, he suddenly has a change of heart.

TV-14

8:00 PM

May the Best Stan Win (DVS)

American Dad

As Valentine's Day approaches, a cyborg version of Stan attempts to steal Francine away from Stan; Roger directs a shot-for-shot remake of the movie "The Goonies."

TV-14

8:30 PM

Return of the Bling (DVS)

American Dad

Stan is appalled to discover that Roger - a "Miracle On Ice" hockey team member - used steroids; Hayley finds herself falling for Reginald.

TV-14

9:00 PM

Welcome Back, Carter (DVS)

Family Guy

Peter extorts Carter after finding out he's having an affair with another woman.

TV-14

9:30 PM

Brian Writes a Best Seller (DVS)

Family Guy

After Brian writes a bestselling self-help book, he hires Stewie to be his publicist and begins treating him poorly during a book promotion.

TV-14

10:00 PM

Fire, The (DVS)

Seinfeld

A kitchen fire makes George confront his cowardliness.

TV-PG

10:30 PM

Opposite, The (DVS)

Seinfeld

George learns success lies in doing the opposite of what he would normally do.

TV-PG

11:00 PM

2003 Approximation, The (DVS)

Big Bang Theory, The

Sheldon reverts back to 2003 when he learns that Leonard and Penny are moving in together. Meanwhile Howard and Raj form a band to play at the comic book store.

TV-PG

11:30 PM

Perspiration Implementation, The (DVS)

Big Bang Theory, The

When Barry Kripke gives the guys fencing lessons, he makes a point of letting Sheldon know he's interested in dating Amy. Also, Stuart has trouble getting female customers at the Comic Book Store, so Penny, Amy and Bernadette stop by to help out.

TV-PG

Thursday, Sep 24
12:00 AM

Helium Insufficiency, The (DVS)

Big Bang Theory, The

A helium shortage leads Sheldon and Leonard to do business with a dealer in the black market in order to acquire some of the element for an experiment they need to complete.

TV-PG

12:30 AM

Spock Resonance, The (DVS)

Big Bang Theory, The

Sheldon's interview for a "Star Trek" documentary focusing on Spock turns up a shocking revelation about his breakup with Amy. Meanwhile, the Wolowitzes haggle over the remodeling of his family home.

TV-PG

1:00 AM

Mystery Date Observation, The (DVS)

Big Bang Theory, The

When Leonard, Penny and Bernadette learn that Amy is going out on a dinner date, the trio set out to spy on her and the guy. Meanwhile, Sheldon recruits Raj and Howard to find a woman for him.

TV-PG

3:00 AM

Raincoats Part 1, The (DVS)

Seinfeld

Kramer's scheme to sell vintage raincoats backfires. George sells his dad's clothes.

TV-PG

3:30 AM

And the Wrecking Ball (DVS)

2 Broke Girls

Season 5 begins with Max and Caroline teaming up with the diner staff in a frantic attempt to keep their businesses open when the city targets Han's diner and their cupcake window for destruction.

TV-14

4:00 AM

And the Taste Test (DVS)

2 Broke Girls

Sophie takes Max and Caroline shopping for their bridesmaid dresses, so the girls enlist the diner gang's help to hide the most hideous ones to avoid being utterly humiliated.

TV-14

4:30 AM

And the Look of the Irish (DVS)

2 Broke Girls

Max and Caroline try to get work for Nash as a model in an effort to make some extra money acting as his managers. Meanwhile, Sophie and Oleg attempt to remain celibate for 30 days before their wedding.

TV-14

5:00 AM

And the Minor Problem (DVS)

2 Broke Girls

Max and Caroline's attempt to break Nash into the modeling business is threatened when his mother arrives from Ireland to retrieve her son.

TV-14

5:30 AM

And the Grate Expectations (DVS)

2 Broke Girls

Max and Caroline help launch the opening of The High's new location at JFK airport. Meanwhile, Sophie learns that Oleg may have an ulterior motive for wanting to marry her.

TV-14

6:00 AM

And the Disappointing Unit (DVS)

2 Broke Girls

Season 4 ends with Max and Caroline tasked with retrieving Sophie's wedding dress from airport customs and safely transporting it to the church in time for the nuptials.

TV-14

6:30 AM

And the Wrecking Ball (DVS)

2 Broke Girls

Season 5 begins with Max and Caroline teaming up with the diner staff in a frantic attempt to keep their businesses open when the city targets Han's diner and their cupcake window for destruction.

TV-14

7:00 AM

And the Gym and Juice (DVS)

2 Broke Girls

The shower at Max and Caroline's apartment breaks, so they get part-time jobs at a fancy gym's juice bar and enjoy free use of the locker room.

TV-14

7:30 AM

And the Maybe Baby (DVS)

2 Broke Girls

The girls run into Caroline's newly engaged ex, Candy Andy, and Caroline offers to make his wedding cake. Later, when she sees Andy's seemingly perfect relationship and how he supports his fiancee's career, she wonders if she should have stayed with him.

TV-14

11:00 AM

Raincoats Part 2, The (DVS)

Seinfeld

Kramer's scheme to sell vintage raincoats backfires. George sells his dad's clothes.

TV-PG

11:30 AM

Hamptons, The (DVS)

Seinfeld

Jerry's girlfriend sees George naked during a weekend at the beach.

TV-PG

12:00 PM

Chaperone, The (DVS)

Seinfeld

Kramer chaperons Jerry's date with a beauty contestant.

TV-PG

12:30 PM

Big Salad, The (DVS)

Seinfeld

Kramer helps an athlete wanted for a brutal crime flee police.

TV-PG

1:00 PM

One with the Cat, The (DVS)

Friends

Phoebe thinks her adoptive mother's spirit inhabits a stray cat. Joey's attempt to sell his entertainment center proves hazardous.

TV-PG

1:30 PM

One with the Cuffs, The (DVS)

Friends

Monica tries to prove her mother wrong. Chandler gets into an embarrassing situation while dating Rachel's boss.

TV-14

2:00 PM

One with the Ballroom Dancing, The (DVS)

Friends

Joey makes an odd deal with the building superintendent to prevent him from evicting Rachel and Monica. Phoebe wants to date her sexy massage client.

TV-PG

2:30 PM

One with Joey's New Girlfriend, The (DVS)

Friends

Joey thinks Chandler hates Joey's new girlfriend--but the truth could be even more upsetting. Ross and Rachel try to make each other jealous.

TV-14

3:00 PM

One with the Dirty Girl, The (DVS)

Friends

Ross' beautiful new girlfriend has a disgusting secret. Chandler becomes more familiar with Joey's girlfriend.

TV-PG

3:30 PM

One Where Chandler Crosses the Line, The (DVS)

Friends

Chandler is guilt-ridden after kissing Joey's girlfriend. Ross' musical talents are not as amazing as he and Phoebe think.

TV-PG

4:00 PM

One with Chandler in a Box, The (DVS)

Friends

On Thanksgiving, Joey wants to punish Chandler for kissing Kathy. Monica gets a surprise when she visits an eye doctor.

TV-PG

4:30 PM

One Where They're Going to Party!, The (DVS)

Friends

The guys try to be spontaneous and wild. After Monica gives a bad restaurant review, she receives a new career opportunity. Rachel's boss offers her a promotion.

TV-PG

5:00 PM

One with the Girl from Poughkeepsie, The (DVS)

Friends

Ross struggles to maintain a long-distance relationship. Chandler tries to get a date for Rachel. Monica schemes to establish authority at her new restaurant job.

TV-PG

5:30 PM

One with Phoebe's Uterus, The (DVS)

Friends

Phoebe's half-brother makes an astounding announcement and a thought-provoking request. Joey finds himself in a class struggle.

TV-14

6:00 PM

Road to the North Pole Part 1 & 2 (DVS)

Family Guy

Brian and Stewie take their adventures to the North Pole to seek out Santa Claus.

TV-14

6:30 PM

One with Rachel's Crush, The (DVS)

Friends

Rachel schemes to get a handsome client to ask her on a date. Chandler's jealousy causes problems with his girlfriend.

TV-PG

7:00 PM

Merlot Down Dirty Shame (DVS)

American Dad

Complications ensue when Roger accompanies Francine to wine country; Klaus and Hayley trick Steve into believing he's dreaming when he's really awake.

TV-14

7:30 PM

Bully for Steve (DVS)

American Dad

Stan becomes tired of Steve never standing up for himself. To help, he becomes a bully and picks on Steve. Meanwhile, Reginald finally asks Hayley out on a date.

TV-14

8:00 PM

Incident at Owl Creek, An (DVS)

American Dad

Stan becomes the laughing stock of Langley Falls after he defecates in a swimming pool during a party.

TV-14

8:30 PM

Great Space Roaster (DVS)

American Dad

It is Roger's birthday, and he begs to be roasted, but Roger takes the cruel jokes to heart and goes on a rampage against the Smith family.

TV-14

9:00 PM

Road to the North Pole Part 1 & 2 (DVS)

Family Guy

Brian and Stewie take their adventures to the North Pole to seek out Santa Claus.

TV-14

9:30 PM

Paintball Scattering, The (DVS)

Big Bang Theory, The

Penny and Leonard organize a paintball game that results in mayhem when Sheldon is jealous of Amy. Raj catches Anu with her ex-boyfriend, and Stuart doesn't want to move in with Denise.

TV-PG

10:00 PM

End of the Road, The (DVS)

Lost Resort

Chrissie finally cracks Greg and he reveals traumatic information about his past. Meco makes a shocking revelation during a session with Oneika, and Christine reads a revealing letter, and everything comes to a head in this Season One finale!

TV-14

10:30 PM

Grant Allocation Derivation, The (DVS)

Big Bang Theory, The

Leonard is caught between a rock and a hard place when he's responsible for distributing extra grant money. Bernadette turns the backyard playhouse into a hideaway from her husband and kids.

TV-PG

11:00 PM

Consummation Deviation, The (DVS)

Big Bang Theory, The

Sheldon tries to bond with Amy's father, but when Howard lures Mr. Fowler away with magic tricks, Sheldon has no choice but to bond with Mrs. Fowler. Raj and Anu try to get physical for the first time.

TV-14

11:30 PM

End of the Road, The (DVS)

Lost Resort

Chrissie finally cracks Greg and he reveals traumatic information about his past. Meco makes a shocking revelation during a session with Oneika, and Christine reads a revealing letter, and everything comes to a head in this Season One finale!

TV-14

Friday, Sep 25
12:00 AM

VCR Illumination, The (DVS)

Big Bang Theory, The

Sheldon and Amy are still down about their theory being disproven, but a VHS tape from Sheldon's past inspires him not to give up. Bernadette turns into a pageant mom when she tries to help Howard ace his Magic Castle audition.

TV-PG

12:30 AM

Paintball Scattering, The (DVS)

Big Bang Theory, The

Penny and Leonard organize a paintball game that results in mayhem when Sheldon is jealous of Amy. Raj catches Anu with her ex-boyfriend, and Stuart doesn't want to move in with Denise.

TV-PG

1:00 AM

End of the Road, The (DVS)

Lost Resort

Chrissie finally cracks Greg and he reveals traumatic information about his past. Meco makes a shocking revelation during a session with Oneika, and Christine reads a revealing letter, and everything comes to a head in this Season One finale!

TV-14

1:30 AM

Katie (DVS)

New Girl

Mistaken identity abounds as Jess inadvertently captures the attention of a beer delivery guy and then pretends to be someone else when a handsome stranger thinks she is his blind date. Then, a regular at Nick's bar claims to be Nick from the future, and Winston's disapproving mother comes to visit, all the while maintaining her hatred of Schmidt.

TV-14

2:30 AM

End of the Road, The (DVS)

Lost Resort

Chrissie finally cracks Greg and he reveals traumatic information about his past. Meco makes a shocking revelation during a session with Oneika, and Christine reads a revealing letter, and everything comes to a head in this Season One finale!

TV-14

3:00 AM

Models (DVS)

New Girl

After spending a wild night out with Cece and her model friends, Jess jumps in the driver's seat when she must fill in for Cece at a car show. Meanwhile, the guys question what defines male friendship after Schmidt buys Nick a cookie.

TV-14

4:00 AM

Re-Launch (DVS)

New Girl

Schmidt throws himself a rebranding party at which Jess, recently fired from her teaching job, volunteers to be a shot girl, alongside a very jaded cocktail waitress. Meanwhile, Winston shows a different side of his personality after drinking some of Nick's fruity concoctions, and Cece introduces the gang to her new boyfriend.

TV-14

4:30 AM

Katie (DVS)

New Girl

Mistaken identity abounds as Jess inadvertently captures the attention of a beer delivery guy and then pretends to be someone else when a handsome stranger thinks she is his blind date. Then, a regular at Nick's bar claims to be Nick from the future, and Winston's disapproving mother comes to visit, all the while maintaining her hatred of Schmidt.

TV-14

5:00 AM

Fluffer (DVS)

New Girl

Nick and Jess address their relationship-without-benefits. Meanwhile, Winston has a lot on his mind besides Shelby. Then, hoping to date a beautiful Republican, Schmidt pretends to be one of presidential candidate Mitt Romney's sons.

TV-14

5:30 AM

Neighbors (DVS)

New Girl

When a group of young twenty-something neighbors moves in across the hall, Jess and Schmidt are determined to become friends with them. Meanwhile, Nick enacts a series of pranks on Schmidt to make him think he's getting old.

TV-14

6:00 AM

Models (DVS)

New Girl

After spending a wild night out with Cece and her model friends, Jess jumps in the driver's seat when she must fill in for Cece at a car show. Meanwhile, the guys question what defines male friendship after Schmidt buys Nick a cookie.

TV-14

6:30 AM

And the Inside Outside Situation (DVS)

2 Broke Girls

Max and Caroline's cupcake shop is boycotted after they refuse to sell cupcakes to an artist who wants to put cocktail weenies in them.

TV-14

7:00 AM

And the Escape Room (DVS)

2 Broke Girls

Han believes his diner employees are not working together as a team, so he insists they all attend a mandatory night out at the Escape Room club.

TV-14

7:30 AM

And the Not Regular Down There (DVS)

2 Broke Girls

Max is puzzled and curious when her new beau expresses hesitations about intimacy because he is "not regular down there." Meanwhile, Sophie and Oleg struggle to get pregnant.

TV-14

11:00 AM

Pledge Drive, The (DVS)

Seinfeld

Jerry cashes old birthday checks from his grandmother.

TV-PG

11:30 AM

Chinese Woman, The (DVS)

Seinfeld

George's crossed phone lines acquaint the gang with a woman who isn't what she seems.

TV-PG

12:00 PM

Couch, The (DVS)

Seinfeld

Elaine dates the guy who delivered Jerry's new couch.

TV-PG

12:30 PM

Gymnast, The (DVS)

Seinfeld

Elaine must substitute for her boss in a merger deal; a girlfriend's mom sees George eating out of the trash.

TV-PG

1:00 PM

One with Joey's Dirty Day, The (DVS)

Friends

Charlton Heston finds Joey in a compromising position during a movie shoot. Rachel regrets asking Ross for a favor.

TV-14

1:30 PM

One with All the Rugby, The (DVS)

Friends

Chandler's annoying former girlfriend reappears. Ross plays rugby to impress Emily with painful results.

TV-PG

2:00 PM

One with the Fake Party, The (DVS)

Friends

Trying to become better acquainted with her sexy client, Rachel inadvertently thwarts Ross' plans for a romantic evening with his girlfriend.

TV-PG

2:30 PM

One with the Free Porn, The (DVS)

Friends

Monica helps Ross tell his girlfriend that he loves her. Phoebe gets some surprising news about her pregnancy.

TV-14

3:00 PM

One with Rachel's New Dress, The (DVS)

Friends

Ross and his ex-wife become jealous when their lovers go to England together. Rachel's plans to seduce her boyfriend go awry.

TV-PG

3:30 PM

One with All the Haste, The (DVS)

Friends

Drastic changes occur in Ross' relationship with Emily. Monica and Rachel will do anything to get their old apartment back from the guys.

TV-PG

4:00 PM

One with All the Wedding Dresses, The (DVS)

Friends

Rachel reacts drastically to Ross' engagement. Chandler becomes exasperated by Joey's snoring.

TV-PG

4:30 PM

One with the Invitation, The (DVS)

Friends

Rachel and the engaged Ross reminisce separately about when they dated each other. The friends get invitations to Ross' wedding but not all of them are going.

TV-PG

5:00 PM

One with the Worst Best Man Ever, The (DVS)

Friends

Joey loses Ross' treasured wedding ring. Phoebe has extreme mood variations from her pregnancy.

TV-PG

5:30 PM

One with Ross's Wedding Part 1, The (DVS)

Friends

Rachel stays home while the others go to England for Ross' wedding.

TV-PG

6:00 PM

One with Ross's Wedding Part 2, The (DVS)

Friends

Rachel frantically tries to get to London before Ross marries Emily. Ross' father clashes with Emily's.

TV-PG

6:30 PM

One After Ross Says Rachel, The (DVS)

Friends

Will Emily forgive Ross before their honeymoon? Monica and Chandler agree to end their new relationship.

TV-PG

7:00 PM

Central Intelligence (DVS)

After reconnecting with an old friend via Facebook, an accountant is thrown into the world of international espionage.

TV-14

7:30 PM

Son of Stan (DVS)

American Dad

After Stan creates a clone of Steve, Francine and Stan compete with each other to determine who has better parenting skills. Meanwhile, Roger tracks down the AWOL bride and groom in Thailand.

TV-14

8:00 PM

Best Little Horror House in Langley Falls (DVS)

American Dad

After hosting the scariest haunted house in the neighborhood for years, Stan is threatened by a competitive neighbor.

TV-14

8:30 PM

Stan's Food Restaurant (DVS)

American Dad

Roger offers to help Stan live out his dream of opening a restaurant until their different visions for what the eatery should be causes havoc.

TV-14

9:00 PM

New Kidney in Town (DVS)

Family Guy

Peter ruins his kidneys after concocting his own energy drink, prompting Brian to volunteer donating his organs; as President Obama plans on visiting the high school, Chris plagiarizes Meg's thoughts for an essay on hope.

TV-14

9:15 PM

Pain & Gain (DVS)

Based on a true story about a group of steroid-abusing bodybuilders engage in a campaign of kidnapping, extortion and murder in Florida.

TV-14

9:30 PM

And I'm Joyce Kinney (DVS)

Family Guy

Lois is horrified when television news reporter Joyce Kinney exposes Lois as a former pornographic film star.

TV-14

10:00 PM

Central Intelligence (DVS)

After reconnecting with an old friend via Facebook, an accountant is thrown into the world of international espionage.

TV-14

Saturday, Sep 26
12:15 AM

Pain & Gain (DVS)

Based on a true story about a group of steroid-abusing bodybuilders engage in a campaign of kidnapping, extortion and murder in Florida.

TV-14

2:00 AM

Pain & Gain (DVS)

Based on a true story about a group of steroid-abusing bodybuilders engage in a campaign of kidnapping, extortion and murder in Florida.

TV-14

5:00 AM

Pain & Gain (DVS)

Based on a true story about a group of steroid-abusing bodybuilders engage in a campaign of kidnapping, extortion and murder in Florida.

TV-14

9:30 AM

End of the Road, The (DVS)

Lost Resort

Chrissie finally cracks Greg and he reveals traumatic information about his past. Meco makes a shocking revelation during a session with Oneika, and Christine reads a revealing letter, and everything comes to a head in this Season One finale!

TV-14

10:30 AM

Rush Hour (DVS)

As the FBI scrambles to save the life of the kidnapped daughter of the Chinese Consul, the diplomat hires trusted Hong Kong police detective Lee to find the girl. Unwilling to have their investigation invaded by a meddling outsider, the FBI assigns a rogue LAPD detective to keep Detective Lee away from the case at any cost. Carter, the detective, covertly embarks on a one-man crusade to solve the case, having first distracted Lee. Within hours, Carter realises he has greatly underestimated his Hong Kong counterpart, who has seen through his ruse, given Carter the slip, and landed in the middle of the FBI's investigation. Both excluded by the FBI, these two cops from very different worlds must join forces to save the young girl.

TV-14

12:30 PM

Rush Hour 2 (DVS)

Chief Inspector Lee of the Hong Kong Police and LAPD detective James Carter go to Hong Kong on a much needed vacation. Carter is looking forward to discovering the city for the first time. But when they arrive, they discover a bomb has exploded in the American Embassy, killing two U.S. customs agents who had been investigating a counterfeiting ring. The Hong Kong police suspect that Triad crime lord Ricky Tan is behind the blast. Inspector Lee is assigned to crack the case, much to the chagrin of Carter who is annoyed as he feels his vacation slipping away. But for Lee the case is personal -- Tan was once his father's police partner and played a direct role in his death. The two cops set off in pursuit of Tan, but this time around it is Detective Carter who is a fish out of water and Lee now has the chance to teach him some lessons. But of course, as the pair chase Tan from Hong Kong to Los Angeles and beyond, Carter has a few things to teach the locals as well.

TV-14

1:30 PM

Rush Hour (DVS)

As the FBI scrambles to save the life of the kidnapped daughter of the Chinese Consul, the diplomat hires trusted Hong Kong police detective Lee to find the girl. Unwilling to have their investigation invaded by a meddling outsider, the FBI assigns a rogue LAPD detective to keep Detective Lee away from the case at any cost. Carter, the detective, covertly embarks on a one-man crusade to solve the case, having first distracted Lee. Within hours, Carter realises he has greatly underestimated his Hong Kong counterpart, who has seen through his ruse, given Carter the slip, and landed in the middle of the FBI's investigation. Both excluded by the FBI, these two cops from very different worlds must join forces to save the young girl.

TV-14

2:30 PM

Rush Hour 3 (DVS)

In the heart of Paris lies a deadly secret. Half a world away in Los Angeles, Ambassador Han is about to disclose it. In his possession is explosive new evidence about the inner workings of the Triads--the most powerful and notorious crime syndicate in the world. The Ambassador has discovered the identity of Shy Shen, the very crux of the wide-ranging crime ring, and he's about to reveal it to the World Criminal Court--until he is silenced by an assassin's bullet. The Triads will go to any lengths to make sure their secrets stay buried, and there's only one hope for stopping them. LAPD Detective Carter and Chinese Inspector Lee are back--back where they don't belong. The unlikely duo is headed to the City of Lights to stop a global criminal conspiracy and save the life of an old friend, Ambassador Han's now-grown daughter, Soo Yung. They don't know the city, the language or even exactly what they're looking for, but their race will take them across the city, from the depths of the Paris underground to the breathtaking heights of the Eiffel Tower, as they fight to outrun the world's most deadly criminals and save the day.

TV-14

3:30 PM

Rush Hour 2 (DVS)

Chief Inspector Lee of the Hong Kong Police and LAPD detective James Carter go to Hong Kong on a much needed vacation. Carter is looking forward to discovering the city for the first time. But when they arrive, they discover a bomb has exploded in the American Embassy, killing two U.S. customs agents who had been investigating a counterfeiting ring. The Hong Kong police suspect that Triad crime lord Ricky Tan is behind the blast. Inspector Lee is assigned to crack the case, much to the chagrin of Carter who is annoyed as he feels his vacation slipping away. But for Lee the case is personal -- Tan was once his father's police partner and played a direct role in his death. The two cops set off in pursuit of Tan, but this time around it is Detective Carter who is a fish out of water and Lee now has the chance to teach him some lessons. But of course, as the pair chase Tan from Hong Kong to Los Angeles and beyond, Carter has a few things to teach the locals as well.

TV-14

4:30 PM

Central Intelligence (DVS)

After reconnecting with an old friend via Facebook, an accountant is thrown into the world of international espionage.

TV-14

5:30 PM

Rush Hour 3 (DVS)

In the heart of Paris lies a deadly secret. Half a world away in Los Angeles, Ambassador Han is about to disclose it. In his possession is explosive new evidence about the inner workings of the Triads--the most powerful and notorious crime syndicate in the world. The Ambassador has discovered the identity of Shy Shen, the very crux of the wide-ranging crime ring, and he's about to reveal it to the World Criminal Court--until he is silenced by an assassin's bullet. The Triads will go to any lengths to make sure their secrets stay buried, and there's only one hope for stopping them. LAPD Detective Carter and Chinese Inspector Lee are back--back where they don't belong. The unlikely duo is headed to the City of Lights to stop a global criminal conspiracy and save the life of an old friend, Ambassador Han's now-grown daughter, Soo Yung. They don't know the city, the language or even exactly what they're looking for, but their race will take them across the city, from the depths of the Paris underground to the breathtaking heights of the Eiffel Tower, as they fight to outrun the world's most deadly criminals and save the day.

TV-14

6:45 PM

Uncle Drew (DVS)

After losing his street basketball team in Harlem, Dax convinces his legendary Uncle Drew and his old squad of septuagenarians to return to the court one more time.

TV-14

7:30 PM

Central Intelligence (DVS)

After reconnecting with an old friend via Facebook, an accountant is thrown into the world of international espionage.

TV-14

9:00 PM

Meteorite Manifestation, The (DVS)

Big Bang Theory, The

Sheldon is thrilled to help Bernadette and Howard navigate bureaucratic paperwork, until he discovers they are breaking the law. Leonard is disappointed when his friends exclude him from a scientific project.

TV-PG

9:30 PM

Donation Oscillation, The (DVS)

Big Bang Theory, The

Penny tries to seduce an abstaining Leonard to ruin his "donation" for her ex-boyfriend, Zack, and his wife, Marissa. Howard, Bernadette, Anu and Raj turn to Raj's canceled bachelor party into a couple's trip aboard the "vomit comet".

TV-PG

9:45 PM

Uncle Drew (DVS)

After losing his street basketball team in Harlem, Dax convinces his legendary Uncle Drew and his old squad of septuagenarians to return to the court one more time.

TV-14

10:00 PM

D & D Vortex, The (DVS)

Big Bang Theory, The

The gang finds out Wil Wheaton hosts a celebrity Dungeons and Dragons game involving William Shatner, Joe Manganiello, Kareem Abdul-Jabbar and Kevin Smith. Deception and betrayal are the path to make it to the one open seat.

TV-PG

10:30 PM

Conference Valuation, The (DVS)

Big Bang Theory, The

Penny and Bernadette go to San Diego for a pharmaceutical sales convention, leaving Howard in charge of the kids. Sheldon finds a book on experimenting on kids, and the guys plus Amy make a day of it.

TV-PG

11:30 PM

Rush Hour (DVS)

As the FBI scrambles to save the life of the kidnapped daughter of the Chinese Consul, the diplomat hires trusted Hong Kong police detective Lee to find the girl. Unwilling to have their investigation invaded by a meddling outsider, the FBI assigns a rogue LAPD detective to keep Detective Lee away from the case at any cost. Carter, the detective, covertly embarks on a one-man crusade to solve the case, having first distracted Lee. Within hours, Carter realises he has greatly underestimated his Hong Kong counterpart, who has seen through his ruse, given Carter the slip, and landed in the middle of the FBI's investigation. Both excluded by the FBI, these two cops from very different worlds must join forces to save the young girl.

TV-14

Sunday, Sep 27
12:00 AM

Meteorite Manifestation, The (DVS)

Big Bang Theory, The

Sheldon is thrilled to help Bernadette and Howard navigate bureaucratic paperwork, until he discovers they are breaking the law. Leonard is disappointed when his friends exclude him from a scientific project.

TV-PG

12:30 AM

Donation Oscillation, The (DVS)

Big Bang Theory, The

Penny tries to seduce an abstaining Leonard to ruin his "donation" for her ex-boyfriend, Zack, and his wife, Marissa. Howard, Bernadette, Anu and Raj turn to Raj's canceled bachelor party into a couple's trip aboard the "vomit comet".

TV-PG

1:00 AM

D & D Vortex, The (DVS)

Big Bang Theory, The

The gang finds out Wil Wheaton hosts a celebrity Dungeons and Dragons game involving William Shatner, Joe Manganiello, Kareem Abdul-Jabbar and Kevin Smith. Deception and betrayal are the path to make it to the one open seat.

TV-PG

1:30 AM

Rush Hour 2 (DVS)

Chief Inspector Lee of the Hong Kong Police and LAPD detective James Carter go to Hong Kong on a much needed vacation. Carter is looking forward to discovering the city for the first time. But when they arrive, they discover a bomb has exploded in the American Embassy, killing two U.S. customs agents who had been investigating a counterfeiting ring. The Hong Kong police suspect that Triad crime lord Ricky Tan is behind the blast. Inspector Lee is assigned to crack the case, much to the chagrin of Carter who is annoyed as he feels his vacation slipping away. But for Lee the case is personal -- Tan was once his father's police partner and played a direct role in his death. The two cops set off in pursuit of Tan, but this time around it is Detective Carter who is a fish out of water and Lee now has the chance to teach him some lessons. But of course, as the pair chase Tan from Hong Kong to Los Angeles and beyond, Carter has a few things to teach the locals as well.

TV-14

2:30 AM

Rush Hour (DVS)

As the FBI scrambles to save the life of the kidnapped daughter of the Chinese Consul, the diplomat hires trusted Hong Kong police detective Lee to find the girl. Unwilling to have their investigation invaded by a meddling outsider, the FBI assigns a rogue LAPD detective to keep Detective Lee away from the case at any cost. Carter, the detective, covertly embarks on a one-man crusade to solve the case, having first distracted Lee. Within hours, Carter realises he has greatly underestimated his Hong Kong counterpart, who has seen through his ruse, given Carter the slip, and landed in the middle of the FBI's investigation. Both excluded by the FBI, these two cops from very different worlds must join forces to save the young girl.

TV-14

3:30 AM

And the Coming Out Party (DVS)

2 Broke Girls

Caroline's grandmother Astrid awakens from a coma with no knowledge of her family's massive money scandal, so Caroline tries to keep the truth from her a bit longer by giving Astrid one last fancy luncheon.

TV-14

4:00 AM

And the Basketball Jones (DVS)

2 Broke Girls

Max & Caroline interfere with a basketball game in an attempt to promote their cupcakes, but the chaos that ensues threatens to ruin their business' reputation.

TV-14

4:30 AM

Rush Hour 2 (DVS)

Chief Inspector Lee of the Hong Kong Police and LAPD detective James Carter go to Hong Kong on a much needed vacation. Carter is looking forward to discovering the city for the first time. But when they arrive, they discover a bomb has exploded in the American Embassy, killing two U.S. customs agents who had been investigating a counterfeiting ring. The Hong Kong police suspect that Triad crime lord Ricky Tan is behind the blast. Inspector Lee is assigned to crack the case, much to the chagrin of Carter who is annoyed as he feels his vacation slipping away. But for Lee the case is personal -- Tan was once his father's police partner and played a direct role in his death. The two cops set off in pursuit of Tan, but this time around it is Detective Carter who is a fish out of water and Lee now has the chance to teach him some lessons. But of course, as the pair chase Tan from Hong Kong to Los Angeles and beyond, Carter has a few things to teach the locals as well.

TV-14

6:00 AM

When We Smash (DVS)

Misery Index, The

Welcome back to the Misery Index, where we can all come together to celebrate each other's misery! Joe and Q "make love", we prove why online dating is dead, and surgery leaves a man with a really teenie weenie. Two contestants, an office flasher and a clumsy partier, battle to be masters of misery and win the $30,000 grand prize!

TV-14

6:30 AM

And the Coming Out Party (DVS)

2 Broke Girls

Caroline's grandmother Astrid awakens from a coma with no knowledge of her family's massive money scandal, so Caroline tries to keep the truth from her a bit longer by giving Astrid one last fancy luncheon.

TV-14

7:00 AM

And the Basketball Jones (DVS)

2 Broke Girls

Max & Caroline interfere with a basketball game in an attempt to promote their cupcakes, but the chaos that ensues threatens to ruin their business' reputation.

TV-14

7:30 AM

And the Sax Problem (DVS)

2 Broke Girls

Earl is crushed when he is not invited to play with his old jazz band at their reunion show, so the diner gang join forces to help get Earl back performing on stage.

TV-14

9:00 AM

End of the Road, The (DVS)

Lost Resort

Chrissie finally cracks Greg and he reveals traumatic information about his past. Meco makes a shocking revelation during a session with Oneika, and Christine reads a revealing letter, and everything comes to a head in this Season One finale!

TV-14

9:30 AM

UK vs US Special (DVS)

Misery Index, The

After some heated UK vs US banter, Jameela and the Tenderloins find out once and for all which of these great nations is truly the most miserable. Plus, Jameela has a big surprise fail for the Tenderloins.

TV-14

10:30 AM

End of the Road, The (DVS)

Lost Resort

Chrissie finally cracks Greg and he reveals traumatic information about his past. Meco makes a shocking revelation during a session with Oneika, and Christine reads a revealing letter, and everything comes to a head in this Season One finale!

TV-14

1:00 PM

Geostorm (DVS)

After an unprecedented series of natural disasters threatened the planet, the world's leaders came together to create an intricate network of satellites to control the global climate and keep everyone safe. But now, something has gone wrong: the system built to protect Earth is attacking it, and it becomes a race against the clock to uncover the real threat before a worldwide geostorm wipes out everything and everyone along with it.

TV-14

Monday, Sep 28
1:00 AM

It (DVS)

When children begin to disappear in the town of Derry, Maine, a group of young kids is faced with their biggest fears when they square off against an evil clown named Pennywise, whose history of murder and violence dates back for centuries. Based on the novel by Stephen King.

TV-14

4:00 AM

It (DVS)

When children begin to disappear in the town of Derry, Maine, a group of young kids is faced with their biggest fears when they square off against an evil clown named Pennywise, whose history of murder and violence dates back for centuries. Based on the novel by Stephen King.

TV-14

12:00 PM

One with All the Kissing, The (DVS)

Friends

Ross' new wife won't speak to him. Rachel appoints Monica her advisor in romance. Phoebe feels neglected.

TV-PG

12:30 PM

One-Hundredth, The (DVS)

Friends

While Phoebe delivers triplets, Joey experiences his own pain. Monica plans a date with a male nurse to spite Chandler.

TV-PG

1:00 PM

One Where Phoebe Hates PBS, The (DVS)

Friends

Joey challenges Phoebe to perform a completely selfless act. Monica gets upset when Chandler gloats about sex. Ross might finally reconcile with Emily but he must make a tough decision.

TV-PG

1:30 PM

One with the Kips, The (DVS)

Friends

Ross tells Rachel that he cannot be around her once Emily comes to New York. Chandler and Monica try to have a romantic weekend.

TV-14

2:00 PM

One with the Yeti, The (DVS)

Friends

Will Ross obey Emily and move away from his friends? Monica and Rachel meet a monster.

TV-PG

2:30 PM

One Where Ross Moves In, The (DVS)

Friends

Joey and Chandler regret letting Ross move in with them. Rachel schemes to get her new neighbor to ask her on a date.

TV-PG

3:00 PM

One with the Thanksgiving Flashbacks, The (DVS)

Friends

The friends find out about Monica's worst Thanksgiving ever.

TV-14

3:30 PM

One with Ross' Sandwich, The (DVS)

Friends

Joey becomes exasperated from hiding Chandler and Monica's secret. Ross gets in trouble when he expresses his rage.

TV-14

4:00 PM

White Rice (DVS)

American Dad

After an argument between Stan and Francine breaks out, Stan suggests they go see a counselor, who hypnotizes Francine and reawakens her lifelong dream of being a comedian. Meanwhile, back in Langley Falls, Steve brings home a potential love interest for Klaus.

TV-14

4:30 PM

There Will Be Bad Blood (DVS)

American Dad

The Smiths prepare for the arrival of Stan's half-brother's family for Thanksgiving.

TV-14

5:00 PM

People Vs. Martin Sugar, The (DVS)

American Dad

Stan serves as jury foreman for the trial of one of Roger's personae, and he is hell-bent on making sure the jury finds him guilty.

TV-14

5:30 PM

For Whom the Sleigh Bell Tolls (DVS)

American Dad

Stan gives Steve a gun for Christmas, even though Francine warns him that Steve is too young. As usual, Stan ignores her, and when Steve accidentally shoots Santa, he sends the North Pole into a tizzy and jeopardizes Christmas.

TV-14

7:00 PM

Nude Beach (DVS)

Bob's Burgers

Hugo, the loathsome health inspector who torments Bob, quits his job to become a nudist after discovering the town's new nude beach. His replacement, Tommy, seems nice enough until he blackmails the Belchers into letting him perform his terrible music at the restaurant, which drives all the customers away. Unable to tolerate it anymore, Bob decides upon the lesser of two evils and braves the nude beach to find Hugo and bring him back.

TV-14

7:30 PM

Broadcast Wagstaff School News (DVS)

Bob's Burgers

There is a "Mad Pooper" running wild at the Belcher children's middle school and Tina finds herself on a mission to get to the "bottom" of the situation.

TV-PG

8:00 PM

My Fuzzy Valentine (DVS)

Bob's Burgers

When a heart-shaped pancake simply doesn't cut it, the kids convince Bob to let them skip school in order to help him find a Valentine's Day gift that will "wow" Linda. Meanwhile, in the spirit of the romantic holiday, Linda sets up a speed-dating event at the restaurant that doesn't go exactly as planned.

TV-14

8:30 PM

Farmer Guy (DVS)

Family Guy

When a crime spree sweeps through Quahog, the Griffins move to the safety of a farm, where they're forced to open a meth lab to make ends meet.

TV-14

9:00 PM

No Country Club for Old Men (DVS)

Family Guy

A wealthy girl invites Chris and his family to spend time at the prestigious Barrington Country Club, but complications ensue when Carter gets kicked out of the club.

TV-14

9:30 PM

Roads to Vegas (DVS)

Family Guy

Brian and Stewie go to Vegas, but chaos erupts when a glitch in Stewie's new teleportation machine creates a duplicate Brian and Stewie.

TV-14

10:00 PM

Finders Keepers (DVS)

Family Guy

After Peter finally goes to the dentist to take care of his bad breath, the Griffins celebrate with a family dinner at The Founding Father Restaurant. The waiter notices Stewie coloring in his placemat, and explains that it's actually a reprinted treasure map.

TV-14

10:30 PM

Vestigial Peter (DVS)

Family Guy

Fed up with Peter's old, tattered, shirt, Lois takes him to the mall to buy a new outfit for church. When Peter struggles with the top button, they notice a large lump on his neck. Alarmed, they rush to the hospital where Dr. Hartman guesses that it's an incomplete vestigial twin.

TV-14

11:00 PM

Quagmire's Quagmire (DVS)

Family Guy

Quagmire purchases a new laptop, which promptly gets infected by viruses from all of the dirty websites he visits. When he takes it in to be fixed, the technician, Sonja, is unfazed by his browser history and actually recommends alternate sites. Impressed, Quagmire asks her out on a date.

TV-14

11:30 PM

Fistful of Meg, A (DVS)

Family Guy

A new kid arrives at James Woods High and quickly earns the nickname "Mental Mike" for his aggressive and violent reputation.

TV-14

Tuesday, Sep 29
12:00 AM

Boopa-Dee Bappa Dee (DVS)

Family Guy

The Quahog 5 News reports an ongoing price war between airlines has led to extremely reduced fares. Lois takes advantage of the situation and purchases tickets to Italy for the family.

TV-14

12:30 AM

Life of Brian (DVS)

Family Guy

While visiting 17th century Jamestown in his time machine, Stewie gives guns to the Native Americans in an effort to be amiable. Back in the present, Stewie and Brian are surprised to discover that Native Americans are now in control of the entire country.

TV-14

1:00 AM

Wild Women Do (DVS)

American Dad

Jeff is forced to take Francine out for a not-so-wild night on the town. Klaus forces Steve to watch his celebrity impressions.

TV-14

1:30 AM

Irish Goodbye, An (DVS)

American Dad

Francine helps Hayley take a break from their marriages. Stan and Jeff pretend to be frontiersmen.

TV-14

2:00 AM

Conan (DVS)

The biggest celebrities, the craziest sketches and Andy Richter to boot? Yes, some would say Conan O'Brien's talk show has everything a late night viewer could want.

TV-14

2:30 AM

Mom & Pop Store, The (DVS)

Seinfeld

George buys a convertible the salesman claims once belonged to Jon Voight.

TV-PG

3:00 AM

Soup, The (DVS)

Seinfeld

Jerry regrets accepting a designer suit from an obnoxious comedian.

TV-PG

3:30 AM

Conan (DVS)

The biggest celebrities, the craziest sketches and Andy Richter to boot? Yes, some would say Conan O'Brien's talk show has everything a late night viewer could want.

TV-14

4:00 AM

Secretary, The (DVS)

Seinfeld

A new secretary's efficiency arouses George; Jerry spots a dry cleaner wearing his clothes.

TV-PG

4:30 AM

Switch, The (DVS)

Seinfeld

Kramer's mom reveals her son's name to George.

TV-PG

5:00 AM

Label Maker, The (DVS)

Seinfeld

Jerry and Elaine are suspicious of a friend's gifts.

TV-PG

5:30 AM

Race, The (DVS)

Seinfeld

An ex-classmate questions Jerry's status as the fastest runner in high school.

TV-PG

6:00 AM

Scofflaw, The (DVS)

Seinfeld

A friend fakes illness to get Jerry's sympathy. Kramer obstructs justice.

TV-PG

6:30 AM

And the No New Friends (DVS)

2 Broke Girls

Caroline falls in with the wrong crowd when she tries to make new friends after Max reconnects with an old friend.

TV-14

7:00 AM

And the Booth Babes (DVS)

2 Broke Girls

Max and Caroline sign up for Booth Babes in order to get into a large gaming convention for free. Once inside, they discover Han's friend created video game characters based on them so they demand compensation.

TV-14

7:30 AM

And the Story Telling Show (DVS)

2 Broke Girls

Caroline shares her riches-to-rags life story on stage at a storytelling night and captures the attention of a Hollywood studio executive. Meanwhile, Sophie and Oleg search for a surrogate.

TV-14

1:00 PM

One with the Inappropriate Sister, The (DVS)

Friends

A bored Ross creates havoc in Joey and Chandler's lives. Rachel is disturbed by her date's inappropriate relationship with his sister.

TV-PG

1:30 PM

One with All the Resolutions, The (DVS)

Friends

On New Year's Eve, the friends make resolutions for the coming year but keeping them proves difficult.

TV-PG

2:00 PM

One with Chandler's Work Laugh, The (DVS)

Friends

Chandler's behavior toward his boss annoys Monica. Ross' latest romance astounds everyone.

TV-PG

2:30 PM

One with Joey's Bag, The (DVS)

Friends

Phoebe meets another long-lost relative. Joey wears a shoulder bag.

TV-PG

3:00 PM

One Where Everybody Finds Out, The (DVS)

Friends

Chandler and Monica's relationship becomes less of a secret. Ross must prove to his boss that he's sane in order to return to work.

TV-14

3:30 PM

One with the Girl Who Hits Joey, The (DVS)

Friends

Chandler thinks Monica wants more from their relationship. Ross fails to impress his new neighbors.

TV-PG

7:30 PM

Fartbreak Hotel (DVS)

American Dad

When Roger releases lethal gas into the Smith residence, the family moves into a hotel while the fumes clear. Francine finds herself with a lot of free time on her hands, and she soon finds herself working in the construction business.

TV-14

8:00 PM

Stanny-Boy and Frantastic (DVS)

American Dad

On the hunt for new friends, Stan and Francine hit it off with a younger married couple, Tom and Cami.

TV-14

8:30 PM

Pinata Named Desire, A (DVS)

American Dad

Stan takes an acting class taught by Roger after he blows an undercover assignment. Stan then uses his newfound acting skills to steal a part in a local play from Roger. Roger, down but not out, takes out the play's female lead and gets her part. Now it's opening night and Stan and Roger take to the stage to see who is the better actor. Meanwhile, Steve and his friends plan a sleepover.

TV-14

9:00 PM

You Debt Your Life (DVS)

American Dad

Roger moves out of the house when he finds out that Stan only let him live there because Roger had saved his life years ago at Area 51. Francine gets Roger to come back home, only to find that Stan has rented out Roger's attic to a new tenant - Andy Dick. Now Roger must find a way to convince Stan to take him back and get rid of Andy Dick. Meanwhile, Steve gets asked to read the daily announcements at school.

TV-14

9:30 PM

Friends of Peter G. (DVS)

Family Guy

After Peter is arrested for a public intoxication, a judge sentences him to attend AA meetings-where Peter and Brian convince their AA brethren that the best place to get drunk is at the meeting.

TV-14

10:00 PM

German Guy (DVS)

Family Guy

Herbert warns Chris that the kind old German puppeteer Chris has befriended is a Nazi war criminal.

TV-14

10:30 PM

Laureate Accumulation, The (DVS)

Big Bang Theory, The

Competitors Pemberton and Campbell charm America on a publicity tour, so Sheldon and Amy try to bring Nobel laureates Kip Thorne, George Smoot, and Frances Arnold to their side. Halley's fear of the dark leads to opportunity and conflict for Howard, Bernadette and Stuart.

TV-PG

11:00 PM

Inspiration Deprivation, The (DVS)

Big Bang Theory, The

Amy has a meltdown due to the pressure associated with winning a Nobel Prize. Raj and Howard try to relive the good old days after Howard buys a scooter that looks like the one he had years ago.

TV-PG

11:30 PM

Decision Reverberation, The (DVS)

Big Bang Theory, The

Raj is worried people won't take him seriously in his own field after publishing a paper that suggests he may have discovered alien life. Leonard wants to be the principal investigator on a plasma physics study.

TV-PG

Wednesday, Sep 30
12:00 AM

Plagiarism Schism, The (DVS)

Big Bang Theory, The

Kripke has proof that Dr. Pemberton plagiarized his thesis in college, and Sheldon and Amy aren't sure they should turn him in or not. Howard is happily surprised to learn that Bernie wasn't the only waitress at the Cheesecake Factory who had a crush on him back in the day.

TV-PG

12:30 AM

Maternal Conclusion, The (DVS)

Big Bang Theory, The

Leonard is pleasantly surprised when Beverly comes to visit and she's genuinely kind to him, until he finds out the real reason she's there. Denise and Stuart overstay their welcome at the Wolowitz house.

TV-PG

1:00 AM

Change Constant, The (DVS)

Big Bang Theory, The

Amy and Sheldon wait for the news. Howard and Bernadette leave their kids. Leonard and Penny keep a secret.

TV-PG

1:30 AM

Stockholm Syndrome, The (DVS)

Big Bang Theory, The

In the series finale, Bernadette and Howard leave their kids for the first time; Penny and Leonard try to keep a secret; Sheldon and Amy stick together; and Raj makes a new friend, as the gang travels together into an uncharted future.

TV-PG

2:30 AM

Maestro, The (DVS)

Seinfeld

Elaine's boyfriend's comments on villas in Tuscany stirs Jerry's curiosity.

TV-PG

3:00 AM

Pool Guy, The (DVS)

Seinfeld

The pool man at Jerry's health club wants to be his best friend.

TV-PG

3:30 AM

Conan (DVS)

The biggest celebrities, the craziest sketches and Andy Richter to boot? Yes, some would say Conan O'Brien's talk show has everything a late night viewer could want.

TV-14

6:30 AM

And the Lost Baggage (DVS)

2 Broke Girls

Max tags along with Caroline as she travels to Los Angeles on a film studio's dime to discuss the idea of making her riches-to-rags life story into a movie. While there, Max loses her luggage but finds a new crush.

TV-14

7:00 AM

And You Bet Your Ass (DVS)

2 Broke Girls

Caroline meets with studio writers in an effort to make her life story into a movie but she is torn when they reveal they would not portray Max in the project. Meanwhile, Max is spoiled by her new Hollywood beau.

TV-14

7:30 AM

And the Great Escape (DVS)

2 Broke Girls

Max and Caroline lose Randy's dog while pet-sitting and risk their lives to find him, while a cannibalistic serial killer is loose in their neighborhood.

TV-14

1:00 PM

One with Joey's Big Break, The (DVS)

Friends

Joey's first major film role leads to an unexpected experience in Las Vegas. Phoebe can't remember why she hates Ross.

TV-PG

1:30 PM

One in Vegas Part 1, The (DVS)

Friends

The gang travels to Las Vegas, Nevada, where more than one surprise awaits. After Ross misinterprets Rachel's actions, a war of public humiliation results.

TV-PG

2:00 PM

One in Vegas Part 2, The (DVS)

Friends

Monica and Chandler get lucky in Las Vegas, Nevada. Rachel makes Ross regret playing a prank on her. Joey schemes for fame and fortune.

TV-PG

2:30 PM

One After Vegas, The (DVS)

Friends

Two of the friends leave Las Vegas married. Joey and Phoebe have a cross-country adventure.

TV-PG

3:00 PM

One Where Ross Hugs Rachel, The (DVS)

Friends

Monica is bewildered by Rachel's reaction to a change in their living arrangement. Phoebe tries to make Ross confront his feelings for Rachel.

TV-PG

3:30 PM

One with Ross' Denial, The (DVS)

Friends

Despite Phoebe's admonitions, Ross makes a drastic decision about Rachel. Chandler and Monica bicker over their living arrangements.

TV-PG

7:30 PM

Season's Beatings (DVS)

American Dad

Father Donovan holds a Christmas play at the mall and casts Stan as Santa Claus and Roger as Jesus. But after the two get in a fight and cause a scene, Stan is kicked out of the church. Meanwhile, Hayley and Jeff adopt a child who turns out to be possessed.

TV-14

8:00 PM

Unbrave One, The (DVS)

American Dad

With Roger's help, Steve dresses up as a superhero to prove his bravery to his father; when Stan discovers that Fran may be pregnant, he hopes the infant will turn out to be the brave child he never had.

TV-14

8:30 PM

Stanny Tendergrass (DVS)

American Dad

Hoping to show Steve the value of hard work, Stan gets Steve a job at a country club; Francine struggles to come up with her own catchphrase.

TV-14

9:00 PM

Scarlett Getter, The (DVS)

American Dad

Francine is disgusted when Stan reestablishes contact with a crush from CIA boot camp; Bullock hires a bounty hunter to capture Roger; Steve wears Hayley's panties after concluding they bring him luck.

TV-14

9:30 PM

Hand That Rocks the Wheelchair (DVS)

Family Guy

When Bonnie leaves town, Meg cares for Joe and ends up with a crush on him; Stewie accidentally creates an identical twin who is pure evil.

TV-14

10:00 PM

Trading Places (DVS)

Family Guy

When Peter and Lois switch places with Chris and Brian, Angela fires Peter and replaces him with the more productive Brian.

TV-14

10:30 PM

Pilot (DVS)

Big Bang Theory, The

Brilliant physicist roommates Leonard and Sheldon meet their new neighbor Penny, who begins showing them that as much as they know about science, they know little about actual living.

TV-14

11:00 PM

Big Bran Hypothesis, The (DVS)

Big Bang Theory, The

Leonard volunteers to sign for a package in an attempt to make a good impression on Penny, but when he enlists Sheldon for help, his attempt at chivalry goes terribly awry.

TV-PG

11:30 PM

Fuzzy Boots Corollary, The (DVS)

Big Bang Theory, The

Leonard asks a work colleague out after he finds out Penny is seeing someone.

TV-PG

Thursday, Oct 1
12:00 AM

Luminous Fish Effect, The (DVS)

Big Bang Theory, The

Sheldon's getting fired forces him to explore what life has to offer outside physics, leaving Leonard to take drastic action to snap his friend out of his funk.

TV-14

12:30 AM

Hamburger Postulate, The (DVS)

Big Bang Theory, The

Fearing he's wasting his time on Penny, Leonard ends up making a connection with Leslie. Meanwhile, Sheldon frets over a change to his hamburger routine.

TV-PG

1:00 AM

Middle Earth Paradigm, The (DVS)

Big Bang Theory, The

Penny hosts a Halloween party putting Leonard, Sheldon, Wolowitz and Koothrappali through a new test of their social skills.

TV-PG

1:24 AM

And the Loophole (DVS)

2 Broke Girls

The girls look for a bigger space for their dessert bar, so Han refers them to a realtor who has a crush on him; Max is surprised when Randy wants to mend their relationship.

TV-14

1:49 AM

And the Attack of the Killer Apartment (DVS)

2 Broke Girls

Max's boyfriend, Randy, asks to spend the night at her place so he can become more acquainted with her world; Caroline tries to get a liquor license for their Dessert Bar.

TV-14

2:13 AM

And the Partnership Hits the Fan (DVS)

2 Broke Girls

A Law firm that's courting Randy for a job invites him and Max to dinner at a hip new restaurant with eclectic cuisine, but the evening veers off course when things don't sit well with Max.

TV-14

2:38 AM

And the Pity Party Bus (DVS)

2 Broke Girls

Caroline signs away the rights to her life story so it can be turned into a movie. Meanwhile, Max is heartbroken when Randy breaks up with her via his therapist, so Caroline rents a party bus in an attempt to cheer her up.

TV-14

3:00 AM

Soul Mate, The (DVS)

Seinfeld

George suspects the foundation attorney believes he murdered Susan.

TV-PG

3:30 AM

Conan (DVS)

The biggest celebrities, the craziest sketches and Andy Richter to boot? Yes, some would say Conan O'Brien's talk show has everything a late night viewer could want.

TV-14

4:00 AM

And the Two Openings: Part 1 (DVS)

2 Broke Girls

Part 1 of 2. Max and Caroline put the finishing touches on their newly converted Dessert Bar. Meanwhile, Max deals with the aftermath of her breakup with Randy; and Sophie and Oleg prepare for the birth of their baby.

TV-14

4:24 AM

And the Loophole (DVS)

2 Broke Girls

The girls look for a bigger space for their dessert bar, so Han refers them to a realtor who has a crush on him; Max is surprised when Randy wants to mend their relationship.

TV-14

4:30 AM

And the Two Openings: Part 2 (DVS)

2 Broke Girls

Part 2 of 2. Sophie goes into labor just before the Dessert Bar's grand opening and demands that Max and Caroline be present for the birth. Meanwhile, the girls run into problems when they don't secure a liquor license for their new venue.

TV-14

4:49 AM

And the Attack of the Killer Apartment (DVS)

2 Broke Girls

Max's boyfriend, Randy, asks to spend the night at her place so he can become more acquainted with her world; Caroline tries to get a liquor license for their Dessert Bar.

TV-14

5:13 AM

And the Partnership Hits the Fan (DVS)

2 Broke Girls

A Law firm that's courting Randy for a job invites him and Max to dinner at a hip new restaurant with eclectic cuisine, but the evening veers off course when things don't sit well with Max.

TV-14

5:38 AM

And the Pity Party Bus (DVS)

2 Broke Girls

Caroline signs away the rights to her life story so it can be turned into a movie. Meanwhile, Max is heartbroken when Randy breaks up with her via his therapist, so Caroline rents a party bus in an attempt to cheer her up.

TV-14

6:00 AM

And the Ten Inches (DVS)

2 Broke Girls

Max and Caroline approach the owner of a pizza place next door about renting space to expand their renovated dessert bar.

TV-14

6:30 AM

And the Big Gamble (DVS)

2 Broke Girls

In the season 5 finale, Max and Caroline learn Han is in trouble with a gang when he can't pay a substantial debt he amassed from gambling on women's tennis.

TV-14

7:00 AM

And the Two Openings: Part 1 (DVS)

2 Broke Girls

Part 1 of 2. Max and Caroline put the finishing touches on their newly converted Dessert Bar. Meanwhile, Max deals with the aftermath of her breakup with Randy; and Sophie and Oleg prepare for the birth of their baby.

TV-14

7:30 AM

And the Two Openings: Part 2 (DVS)

2 Broke Girls

Part 2 of 2. Sophie goes into labor just before the Dessert Bar's grand opening and demands that Max and Caroline be present for the birth. Meanwhile, the girls run into problems when they don't secure a liquor license for their new venue.

TV-14

1:00 PM

One Where Joey Loses His Insurance, The (DVS)

Friends

Injured Joey must get an acting part in order to qualify for health insurance. Rachel finally learns the truth about her marriage to Ross.

TV-PG

1:30 PM

One with Joey's Porsche, The (DVS)

Friends

Rachel forces Ross to terminate their marriage. Phoebe's first triplet baby-sitting experience proves stressful. Joey pretends to own a sports car.

TV-PG

2:00 PM

One on the Last Night, The (DVS)

Friends

The guys and the women prepare for big changes in their living arrangements.

TV-PG

3:30 PM

One with the Routine, The (DVS)

Friends

Joey plots the perfect opportunity to kiss Janine. Ross and Monica resurrect their dorky high school dance routine for a television special.

TV-PG

4:00 PM

One with the Apothecary Table, The (DVS)

Friends

Joey finally dates Janine but she doesn't like his friends. Rachel worries Phoebe won't appreciate the way she furnishes their apartment.

TV-PG

4:30 PM

One with the Joke, The (DVS)

Friends

Ross and Chandler bicker over which of them created a raunchy joke. Phoebe antagonizes Monica and Rachel with her candor. Joey reluctantly takes a waiter job at Central Perk.

TV-PG

5:00 PM

One with Rachel's Sister Part 1, The (DVS)

Friends

Rachel tries to help her pampered younger sister, Jill, find independence but Jill flirting with Ross is not part of the plan. Monica won't admit that she is sick.

TV-PG

5:30 PM

One Where Chandler Can't Cry Part 2, The (DVS)

Friends

Rachel's sister Jill wants Ross but not for the reasons he thinks. Chandler astounds the others with his inability to express emotions. Is Phoebe starring in pornography?

TV-PG

6:00 PM

One That Could Have Been Part 1, The (DVS)

Friends

The friends fantasize Rachel and Ross are in respective loveless marriages. Monica is an overweight virgin. Poor Chandler works for television star Joey, and Phoebe is an overstressed stockbroker.

TV-14

6:30 PM

One That Could Have Been Part 2, The (DVS)

Friends

In the speculative fantasy, Ross initiates romantic advances with his wife Carol; Chandler and Monica help each other overcome loneliness; Rachel learns the truth about her husband; and Phoebe sneaks out of the hospital.

TV-14

7:00 PM

Home Wrecker (DVS)

American Dad

Stan and Francine fight over how to redecorate the house. It goes so far that they split the house down the middle and try to live without each other.

TV-14

7:30 PM

Flirting With Disaster (DVS)

American Dad

Francine gets a job at Stan's office, which cramps Stan's style and his ability to flirt with co-workers. When Francine retaliates with a little flirting of her own, war breaks out at work.

TV-14

8:00 PM

Gorillas in the Mist (DVS)

American Dad

Stan spends some quality father-son time with Steve at the local zoo, but things go wrong when Steve slips into a gorilla exhibit. Meanwhile, Roger bets Hayley that he can become a great Country singer and sets out to write the most heartbreaking song of all time.

TV-14

8:30 PM

Hot Water (DVS)

American Dad

Stan battles an evil hot tub bent on killing his family.

TV-14

9:00 PM

Tiegs for Two (DVS)

Family Guy

Peter clashes with the owner of a dry cleaning business after he loses one of his white shirts; Brian infuriates Quagmire when he beings dating his old girlfriend, Cheryl Tiegs.

TV-14

9:30 PM

Brothers and Sisters (DVS)

Family Guy

Mayor West asks Lois's depressed, recently divorced sister to marry him; Peter treats Mayor West like a brother instead of a brother-in-law.

TV-14

10:00 PM

Dumpling Paradox, The (DVS)

Big Bang Theory, The

With Wolowitz AWOL with one of her friends, Penny's recruited to fill in for him on the guys' Halo team.

TV-14

10:30 PM

Grasshopper Experiment, The (DVS)

Big Bang Theory, The

Raj's parents set him up on a blind date, and when he discovers he can talk to her, she shows interest in Sheldon.

TV-PG

11:00 PM

Cooper-Hofstadter Polarization, The (DVS)

Big Bang Theory, The

When they're invited to present at a physics conference, Sheldon's reluctance to share the credit leads to a tiff between him and Leonard, and Penny's intervention only exacerbates the situation.

TV-PG

11:30 PM

Loobenfeld Decay, The (DVS)

Big Bang Theory, The

Leonard and Sheldon each lie to avoid hearing Penny sing in a production of Rent. However, Sheldon's lie becomes a bit too complicated for its own good.

TV-14

Friday, Oct 2
12:00 AM

Pancake Batter Anomaly, The (DVS)

Big Bang Theory, The

With his friends knowing how sour he acts when sick and avoiding him as a result, Sheldon is nursed for by Penny, who hasn't a clue what she's in for.

TV-PG

12:30 AM

Jerusalem Duality, The (DVS)

Big Bang Theory, The

With Sheldon rattled and impossible to be around after meeting Dennis, a 15-year-old physicist who's smarter than he, the rest of the guys search for a way to eliminate the threat.

TV-14

1:00 AM

Bat Jar Conjecture, The (DVS)

Big Bang Theory, The

Sheldon finds himself booted from the gang's Physics Bowl team and replaced with Leslie so he forms his own team hoping to prove he's superior.

TV-14

1:24 AM

Santa (DVS)

New Girl

When the gang attempts to juggle multiple holiday parties in one night, Jess tries to avoid a remorseful Sam, Nick tries to keep up with a sexually adventurous Angie and Winston panics when he gets a cranberry stuck in his ear.

TV-14

1:30 AM

Nerdvana Annihilation, The (DVS)

Big Bang Theory, The

When the delivery of a full-size prop of 1960's The Time Machine makes Penny miss work, she scolds Leonard about his sci-fi collectibles. He decides it's time to give up such childish pursuits.

TV-PG

1:49 AM

Cabin (DVS)

New Girl

Jess invites Nick and Angie to spend a couples' weekend with her and Sam. Once there, however, she quickly discovers that two's company and four's a crowd. Meanwhile, Winston tries to teach Schmidt about race relations.

TV-14

2:13 AM

Father's Love, A (DVS)

New Girl

When Nick's con-man father suddenly reappears, Jess tries her best to fix the two men's relationship, despite Nick's fears that he's being used in another one of his dad's gambling schemes. Meanwhile, Schmidt teams up with Robby to try to win back Cece.

TV-14

2:30 AM

Kiss Hello, The (DVS)

Seinfeld

Jerry stops greeting friends with a kiss. Uncle Leo puts Nana in a nursing home.

TV-PG

2:38 AM

Parents (DVS)

New Girl

Jess invites her divorced Mom and Dad over for Thanksgiving dinner and enlists Nick and Cece to help her with a Parent Trap to reunite them. Meanwhile, Schmidt's cousin, Big Schmidt, visits. Winston manipulates them into an escalating battle to prove their manhood.

TV-14

3:00 AM

Beard, The (DVS)

Seinfeld

Elaine tries to change a gay man; George and his date have similar problems.

TV-PG

3:30 AM

Conan (DVS)

The biggest celebrities, the craziest sketches and Andy Richter to boot? Yes, some would say Conan O'Brien's talk show has everything a late night viewer could want.

TV-14

4:00 AM

And the Godmama Drama (DVS)

2 Broke Girls

Oleg and Sophie's plan to have Max and Caroline as Barbara's godparents goes awry when Oleg's domineering mother arrives from the Ukraine for the baby's baptism and fires the girls from their godparent duties.

TV-14

4:24 AM

Santa (DVS)

New Girl

When the gang attempts to juggle multiple holiday parties in one night, Jess tries to avoid a remorseful Sam, Nick tries to keep up with a sexually adventurous Angie and Winston panics when he gets a cranberry stuck in his ear.

TV-14

4:30 AM

And the College Experience (DVS)

2 Broke Girls

Max gives Caroline the college party she never had when they are invited to speak at Caroline's alma mater, the University of Pennsylvania, about their business. Meanwhile, Oleg's attempts to bond with baby Barbara are rebuffed by a possessive Sophie; and Han practices his magic tricks with a reluctant Earl as his assistant.

TV-14

4:49 AM

Cabin (DVS)

New Girl

Jess invites Nick and Angie to spend a couples' weekend with her and Sam. Once there, however, she quickly discovers that two's company and four's a crowd. Meanwhile, Winston tries to teach Schmidt about race relations.

TV-14

5:13 AM

Father's Love, A (DVS)

New Girl

When Nick's con-man father suddenly reappears, Jess tries her best to fix the two men's relationship, despite Nick's fears that he's being used in another one of his dad's gambling schemes. Meanwhile, Schmidt teams up with Robby to try to win back Cece.

TV-14

5:38 AM

Parents (DVS)

New Girl

Jess invites her divorced Mom and Dad over for Thanksgiving dinner and enlists Nick and Cece to help her with a Parent Trap to reunite them. Meanwhile, Schmidt's cousin, Big Schmidt, visits. Winston manipulates them into an escalating battle to prove their manhood.

TV-14

6:00 AM

Pepperwood (DVS)

New Girl

When Nick is convinced that one of Jess' students is hiding a nefarious secret, he goes undercover in her adult night school class. Meanwhile, Winston has an embarrassing encounter with Cece, causing an examination of all the loft-mate's peculiarities.

TV-14

6:30 AM

And the 80's Movie (DVS)

2 Broke Girls

Max and Caroline's plans to attract upscale clients to their dessert bar go awry when members of an arm-wrestling team become regulars. Meanwhile, Oleg ghost writes sexy messages for Max to send to Randy.

TV-14

7:00 AM

And the Godmama Drama (DVS)

2 Broke Girls

Oleg and Sophie's plan to have Max and Caroline as Barbara's godparents goes awry when Oleg's domineering mother arrives from the Ukraine for the baby's baptism and fires the girls from their godparent duties.

TV-14

7:30 AM

And the College Experience (DVS)

2 Broke Girls

Max gives Caroline the college party she never had when they are invited to speak at Caroline's alma mater, the University of Pennsylvania, about their business. Meanwhile, Oleg's attempts to bond with baby Barbara are rebuffed by a possessive Sophie; and Han practices his magic tricks with a reluctant Earl as his assistant.

TV-14

1:00 PM

One with Unagi, The (DVS)

Friends

Chandler gets into trouble with his homemade gift for Monica. Ross tries to teach martial arts to Rachel and Phoebe. Joey hires a look-alike.

TV-PG

1:30 PM

One Where Ross Dates a Student, The (DVS)

Friends

When a fire damages their apartment, Rachel and Phoebe must choose between living temporarily with Joey or Monica. Ross gets into trouble where he teaches.

TV-PG

2:00 PM

One with Joey's Fridge, The (DVS)

Friends

Ross worries when his student/girlfriend goes on vacation with her wild friends. Meanwhile, Joey's refrigerator breaks down.

TV-PG

2:30 PM

One with Mac and C.H.E.E.S.E., The (DVS)

Friends

Primarily composed of clips from earlier shows, Joey auditions for a major television role but Chandler almost ruins everything.

TV-PG

3:00 PM

One Where Ross Meets Elizabeth's Dad, The (DVS)

Friends

Ross is nervous about meeting Paul, Elizabeth's dad, and invites the gang to the coffeehouse for moral support.

TV-PG

3:30 PM

One Where Paul's the Man, The (DVS)

Friends

Elizabeth and Ross decide to hide their relationship from her father and head up to his cabin for the weekend.

TV-PG

4:00 PM

One with the Ring, The (DVS)

Friends

Phoebe helps Chandler pick out an engagement ring for Monica.

TV-PG

4:30 PM

One with the Proposal Part 1, The (DVS)

Friends

Chandler plans to propose to Monica.

TV-PG

5:00 PM

One with the Proposal Part 2, The (DVS)

Friends

Monica asks Chandler to be her husband.

TV-PG

5:30 PM

One with Monica's Thunder, The (DVS)

Friends

Monica excitedly reveals her good news to everyone but Rachel and Ross upstage her. Chandler has trouble making love.

TV-PG

6:00 PM

One with Rachel's Book, The (DVS)

Friends

Monica is outraged to find out what her parents did with her wedding fund. Joey discovers Rachel's late-night reading material.

TV-PG

6:30 PM

One with Phoebe's Cookies, The (DVS)

Friends

Monica desperately tries to figure out a secret cookie recipe. Chandler fails to impress Monica's father.

TV-PG

7:00 PM

Hurricane (DVS)

American Dad

Stan attempts to save his family after a hurricane floods Lower Langley--despite Fran's warnings that Stan is a bad decision-maker during a crisis.

TV-14

7:30 PM

Ward Show, A (DVS)

American Dad

After he's appointed Steve's legal guardian, Roger has Principal Lewis fired for letting Steve break the school's rules; Stan and Fran vacation at a waterpark.

TV-14

8:00 PM

Worst Stan, The (DVS)

American Dad

Stan arranges for Principal Lewis to marry Superintendent Riggs so he can finally be a best man at a wedding; Roger's new shorts attract the interest of Ricky Martin.

TV-14

8:30 PM

Virtual In-Stanity (DVS)

American Dad

Stan uses an avatar of a hot girl to bond with Steve; Roger plots a violent end for frat brothers who stiffed him out of $20 for a limousine ride.

TV-14

9:00 PM

Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)

Family Guy

Using the time machine, Stewie and Brian accidentally travel outside the space-time continuum, where Stewie causes an explosion that creates the universe; Bertram travels back in time to kill one of Stewie's ancestors: Leonardo da Vinci.

TV-14

9:30 PM

Foreign Affairs (DVS)

Family Guy

Lois and Bonnie travel to Paris, where Bonnie has an affair with a Frenchman in a wheelchair; Peter decides to home school Meg and Chris.

TV-14

Saturday, Oct 3
3:15 AM

Game Night (DVS)

Max and Annie's weekly couples game night gets kicked up a notch when Max's charismatic brother, Brooks, arranges a murder mystery party, complete with fake thugs and faux federal agents. So when Brooks gets kidnapped, it's all part of the game.right? But as the six uber-competitive gamers set out to solve the case and win, they begin to discover that neither this "game"-nor Brooks-are what they seem to be. Over the course of one chaotic night, the friends find themselves increasingly in over their heads as each twist leads to another unexpected turn. With no rules, no points, and no idea who all the players are, this could turn out to be the most fun they've ever had.or game over.

TV-14

6:15 AM

Game Night (DVS)

Max and Annie's weekly couples game night gets kicked up a notch when Max's charismatic brother, Brooks, arranges a murder mystery party, complete with fake thugs and faux federal agents. So when Brooks gets kidnapped, it's all part of the game.right? But as the six uber-competitive gamers set out to solve the case and win, they begin to discover that neither this "game"-nor Brooks-are what they seem to be. Over the course of one chaotic night, the friends find themselves increasingly in over their heads as each twist leads to another unexpected turn. With no rules, no points, and no idea who all the players are, this could turn out to be the most fun they've ever had.or game over.

TV-14

9:30 AM

Doorman, The (DVS)

Seinfeld

A doorman tries to cause trouble for Jerry. Kramer develops a male undergarment.

TV-PG

10:00 AM

Jimmy, The (DVS)

Seinfeld

Jerry suspects his dentist and hygienist are living out their fantasies at his expense.

TV-PG

10:30 AM

Doodle, The (DVS)

Seinfeld

Fleas force Jerry and his parents out of his apartment.

TV-PG

12:30 PM

Evan Almighty (DVS)

Newly elected to Congress, the polished, preening newscaster, Evan Baxter, is the next one anointed by God to accomplish a holy mission--walking in the footsteps of Bruce Almighty. Evan leaves Buffalo behind and shepherds his family to suburban northern Virginia. Once there, his life gets turned upside-down when God appears and mysteriously commands him to build an ark. But his befuddled family just can't decide whether Evan is having an extraordinary mid-life crisis or is truly onto something of Biblical proportions.

TV-PG

1:00 PM

Jimmy, The (DVS)

Seinfeld

Jerry suspects his dentist and hygienist are living out their fantasies at his expense.

TV-PG

1:30 PM

Doodle, The (DVS)

Seinfeld

Fleas force Jerry and his parents out of his apartment.

TV-PG

2:00 PM

Fusilli Jerry, The (DVS)

Seinfeld

A mechanic pal uses Jerry's romantic techniques on Elaine.

TV-PG

2:30 PM

Game Night (DVS)

Max and Annie's weekly couples game night gets kicked up a notch when Max's charismatic brother, Brooks, arranges a murder mystery party, complete with fake thugs and faux federal agents. So when Brooks gets kidnapped, it's all part of the game.right? But as the six uber-competitive gamers set out to solve the case and win, they begin to discover that neither this "game"-nor Brooks-are what they seem to be. Over the course of one chaotic night, the friends find themselves increasingly in over their heads as each twist leads to another unexpected turn. With no rules, no points, and no idea who all the players are, this could turn out to be the most fun they've ever had.or game over.

TV-14

3:30 PM

Evan Almighty (DVS)

Newly elected to Congress, the polished, preening newscaster, Evan Baxter, is the next one anointed by God to accomplish a holy mission--walking in the footsteps of Bruce Almighty. Evan leaves Buffalo behind and shepherds his family to suburban northern Virginia. Once there, his life gets turned upside-down when God appears and mysteriously commands him to build an ark. But his befuddled family just can't decide whether Evan is having an extraordinary mid-life crisis or is truly onto something of Biblical proportions.

TV-PG

4:30 PM

Due Date (DVS)

Peter Highman is an expectant first-time father whose wife's due date is a mere five days away. As Peter hurries to catch a flight home from Atlanta to be at her side for the birth, his best intentions go completely awry when a chance encounter with aspiring actor Ethan Tremblay forces Peter to hitch a ride with Ethan--on what turns out to be a cross-country road trip that will ultimately destroy several cars, numerous friendships and Peter's last nerve.

TV-14

5:30 PM

Game Night (DVS)

Max and Annie's weekly couples game night gets kicked up a notch when Max's charismatic brother, Brooks, arranges a murder mystery party, complete with fake thugs and faux federal agents. So when Brooks gets kidnapped, it's all part of the game.right? But as the six uber-competitive gamers set out to solve the case and win, they begin to discover that neither this "game"-nor Brooks-are what they seem to be. Over the course of one chaotic night, the friends find themselves increasingly in over their heads as each twist leads to another unexpected turn. With no rules, no points, and no idea who all the players are, this could turn out to be the most fun they've ever had.or game over.

TV-14

7:30 PM

Due Date (DVS)

Peter Highman is an expectant first-time father whose wife's due date is a mere five days away. As Peter hurries to catch a flight home from Atlanta to be at her side for the birth, his best intentions go completely awry when a chance encounter with aspiring actor Ethan Tremblay forces Peter to hitch a ride with Ethan--on what turns out to be a cross-country road trip that will ultimately destroy several cars, numerous friendships and Peter's last nerve.

TV-14

8:45 PM

Horrible Bosses 2 (DVS)

Fed up with answering to higher-ups, Nick, Dale and Kurt decide to become their own bosses by launching their own business. But a slick investor soon pulls the rug out from under them. Outplayed and desperate, and without legal recourse, the three would-be entrepreneurs hatch a misguided plan to kidnap the investor's adult son and ransom him to regain control of their company.

TV-14

11:30 PM

Due Date (DVS)

Peter Highman is an expectant first-time father whose wife's due date is a mere five days away. As Peter hurries to catch a flight home from Atlanta to be at her side for the birth, his best intentions go completely awry when a chance encounter with aspiring actor Ethan Tremblay forces Peter to hitch a ride with Ethan--on what turns out to be a cross-country road trip that will ultimately destroy several cars, numerous friendships and Peter's last nerve.

TV-14

11:45 PM

Horrible Bosses 2 (DVS)

Fed up with answering to higher-ups, Nick, Dale and Kurt decide to become their own bosses by launching their own business. But a slick investor soon pulls the rug out from under them. Outplayed and desperate, and without legal recourse, the three would-be entrepreneurs hatch a misguided plan to kidnap the investor's adult son and ransom him to regain control of their company.

TV-14

Sunday, Oct 4
1:30 AM

Evan Almighty (DVS)

Newly elected to Congress, the polished, preening newscaster, Evan Baxter, is the next one anointed by God to accomplish a holy mission--walking in the footsteps of Bruce Almighty. Evan leaves Buffalo behind and shepherds his family to suburban northern Virginia. Once there, his life gets turned upside-down when God appears and mysteriously commands him to build an ark. But his befuddled family just can't decide whether Evan is having an extraordinary mid-life crisis or is truly onto something of Biblical proportions.

TV-PG

2:30 AM

Due Date (DVS)

Peter Highman is an expectant first-time father whose wife's due date is a mere five days away. As Peter hurries to catch a flight home from Atlanta to be at her side for the birth, his best intentions go completely awry when a chance encounter with aspiring actor Ethan Tremblay forces Peter to hitch a ride with Ethan--on what turns out to be a cross-country road trip that will ultimately destroy several cars, numerous friendships and Peter's last nerve.

TV-14

3:30 AM

And the Rom-Commie (DVS)

2 Broke Girls

Earl becomes concerned he may not be able to keep up when his long-lost sweetheart, Pilar, visits from Cuba and wants him to take her sightseeing around the country. Meanwhile, Max must decide whether it's time to take her texting relationship with Randy to the next level.

TV-14

4:00 AM

And the Sophie Doll (DVS)

2 Broke Girls

The girls take a bartending class in order to add cocktails to their dessert bar menu, but Caroline is forced to take the class exam alone when Max gets chicken pox from Han. Meanwhile, Sophie introduces a creepy lookalike video monitor doll to keep tabs on baby Barbara, which unsettles everyone.

TV-14

4:30 AM

Evan Almighty (DVS)

Newly elected to Congress, the polished, preening newscaster, Evan Baxter, is the next one anointed by God to accomplish a holy mission--walking in the footsteps of Bruce Almighty. Evan leaves Buffalo behind and shepherds his family to suburban northern Virginia. Once there, his life gets turned upside-down when God appears and mysteriously commands him to build an ark. But his befuddled family just can't decide whether Evan is having an extraordinary mid-life crisis or is truly onto something of Biblical proportions.

TV-PG

6:30 AM

And the Rom-Commie (DVS)

2 Broke Girls

Earl becomes concerned he may not be able to keep up when his long-lost sweetheart, Pilar, visits from Cuba and wants him to take her sightseeing around the country. Meanwhile, Max must decide whether it's time to take her texting relationship with Randy to the next level.

TV-14

7:00 AM

And the Sophie Doll (DVS)

2 Broke Girls

The girls take a bartending class in order to add cocktails to their dessert bar menu, but Caroline is forced to take the class exam alone when Max gets chicken pox from Han. Meanwhile, Sophie introduces a creepy lookalike video monitor doll to keep tabs on baby Barbara, which unsettles everyone.

TV-14

7:30 AM

And the Duck Stamp (DVS)

2 Broke Girls

Max and Caroline's dessert bar business booms when they hire a popular bartender, but the girls are forced to intervene when Han becomes addicted to the mixologist's potent cocoa powder in his signature cacao drink. Meanwhile, Han enters a duck stamp drawing contest; and glamour eludes Sophie as she adjusts to being a mom.

TV-14

12:00 PM

Diplomat's Club, The (DVS)

Seinfeld

Kramer woos a rich Texan in hopes she will finance his women's fashion line.

TV-PG

12:30 PM

Understudy, The (DVS)

Seinfeld

George is suspected of injuring Bette Midler in a softball game.

TV-PG

1:00 PM

Red Dawn (DVS)

The residents of a town in Washington state awaken to the sight of foreign paratroopers dropping from the sky and quickly find themselves under enemy occupation. A group of kids escape to the surrounding woods where they begin to train, organizing themselves into a guerrilla group.They call themselves the Wolverines (their high school mascot), and band together to protect one another, liberate their town from its captors and claim their freedom.

TV-14

1:30 PM

Highlights of a Hundred Part 2 (DVS)

Seinfeld

Jerry Seinfeld presents highlights from the series' first 100 episodes.

TV-PG

3:00 PM

Edge of Tomorrow (DVS)

In the near future in which a hive-like alien race, called Mimics, have hit the Earth in an unrelenting assault, shredding great cities to rubble and leaving millions of human casualties in their wake. No army in the world can match the speed, brutality or seeming prescience of the weaponized Mimic fighters or their telepathic commanders. But now the world's armies have joined forces for a last stand offensive against the alien horde, with no second chances. Lt. Col. Bill Cage is an officer who has never seen a day of combat when he is unceremoniously demoted and then dropped-untrained and ill-equipped-into what amounts to little more than a suicide mission. Cage is killed within minutes, managing to take an Alpha down with him. But, impossibly, he awakens back at the beginning of the same hellish day, and is forced to fight and die again...and again. Direct physical contact with the alien has thrown him into a time loop-dooming him to live out the same brutal combat over and over. But with each pass, Cage becomes tougher, smarter, and able to engage the Mimics with increasing skill, alongside Special Forces warrior Rita Vrataski, who has lain waste to more Mimics than anyone on Earth. As Cage and Rita take the fight to the aliens, each repeated battle becomes an opportunity to find the key to annihilating the alien invaders and saving the Earth.

TV-14

4:00 PM

Red Dawn (DVS)

The residents of a town in Washington state awaken to the sight of foreign paratroopers dropping from the sky and quickly find themselves under enemy occupation. A group of kids escape to the surrounding woods where they begin to train, organizing themselves into a guerrilla group.They call themselves the Wolverines (their high school mascot), and band together to protect one another, liberate their town from its captors and claim their freedom.

TV-14

5:15 PM

Jack Reacher (DVS)

After a gunman kills five people with just six shots, all of the evidence points to the suspect who is in custody. But when he is interrogated, the suspect claims his innocence and tells the police to "Get Jack Reacher!" Reacher sees the story on the news and comes to town in order to confirm the man's guilt, but instead turns up an unexpected enemy with a secret and a skill for violence.

TV-14

6:00 PM

Edge of Tomorrow (DVS)

In the near future in which a hive-like alien race, called Mimics, have hit the Earth in an unrelenting assault, shredding great cities to rubble and leaving millions of human casualties in their wake. No army in the world can match the speed, brutality or seeming prescience of the weaponized Mimic fighters or their telepathic commanders. But now the world's armies have joined forces for a last stand offensive against the alien horde, with no second chances. Lt. Col. Bill Cage is an officer who has never seen a day of combat when he is unceremoniously demoted and then dropped-untrained and ill-equipped-into what amounts to little more than a suicide mission. Cage is killed within minutes, managing to take an Alpha down with him. But, impossibly, he awakens back at the beginning of the same hellish day, and is forced to fight and die again...and again. Direct physical contact with the alien has thrown him into a time loop-dooming him to live out the same brutal combat over and over. But with each pass, Cage becomes tougher, smarter, and able to engage the Mimics with increasing skill, alongside Special Forces warrior Rita Vrataski, who has lain waste to more Mimics than anyone on Earth. As Cage and Rita take the fight to the aliens, each repeated battle becomes an opportunity to find the key to annihilating the alien invaders and saving the Earth.

TV-14

8:00 PM

Captain America: Civil War (DVS)

Political pressure mounts to install a system of accountability when the actions of the Avengers lead to collateral damage. The new status quo deeply divides members of the team. Captain America believes superheroes should remain free to defend humanity without government interference. Iron Man sharply disagrees and supports oversight. As the debate escalates into an all-out feud, Black Widow and Hawkeye must pick a side.

TV-14

8:15 PM

Jack Reacher (DVS)

After a gunman kills five people with just six shots, all of the evidence points to the suspect who is in custody. But when he is interrogated, the suspect claims his innocence and tells the police to "Get Jack Reacher!" Reacher sees the story on the news and comes to town in order to confirm the man's guilt, but instead turns up an unexpected enemy with a secret and a skill for violence.

TV-14

11:00 PM

Captain America: Civil War (DVS)

Political pressure mounts to install a system of accountability when the actions of the Avengers lead to collateral damage. The new status quo deeply divides members of the team. Captain America believes superheroes should remain free to defend humanity without government interference. Iron Man sharply disagrees and supports oversight. As the debate escalates into an all-out feud, Black Widow and Hawkeye must pick a side.

TV-14

Monday, Oct 5
12:45 AM

Jack Reacher (DVS)

After a gunman kills five people with just six shots, all of the evidence points to the suspect who is in custody. But when he is interrogated, the suspect claims his innocence and tells the police to "Get Jack Reacher!" Reacher sees the story on the news and comes to town in order to confirm the man's guilt, but instead turns up an unexpected enemy with a secret and a skill for violence.

TV-14

3:30 AM

Parking Spot (DVS)

New Girl

When Schmidt discovers a previously unknown yet highly-coveted parking spot, Jess and the roommates battle it out to see who will get to use it. Meanwhile, Winston has a hard time finding a condom when he gets an impromptu invitation from Daisy.

TV-14

3:45 AM

Jack Reacher (DVS)

After a gunman kills five people with just six shots, all of the evidence points to the suspect who is in custody. But when he is interrogated, the suspect claims his innocence and tells the police to "Get Jack Reacher!" Reacher sees the story on the news and comes to town in order to confirm the man's guilt, but instead turns up an unexpected enemy with a secret and a skill for violence.

TV-14

4:00 AM

Tinfinity (DVS)

New Girl

Jess catches the eye of a professional football player, with whom Winston landed an exclusive interview for his radio station. Meanwhile, Nick and Schmidt argue over the planning of their TinFinity party celebrating their tenth anniversary of living together, and Cece gets a surprise offer.

TV-14

4:30 AM

Quick Hardening Caulk (DVS)

New Girl

Jess comes to a conclusion about her romantic feelings for Nick and she struggles to tell him until she's hopped up on pain medication. But after admitting her feelings, she finds out he may have been keeping something from her. Meanwhile, Schmidt becomes obsessed with buying a fish, which Winston sees as a metaphor for Schmidt's unresolved feelings toward Cece, and Nick plans a bar promotion to impress the bar owner.

TV-14

6:30 AM

Parking Spot (DVS)

New Girl

When Schmidt discovers a previously unknown yet highly-coveted parking spot, Jess and the roommates battle it out to see who will get to use it. Meanwhile, Winston has a hard time finding a condom when he gets an impromptu invitation from Daisy.

TV-14

7:00 AM

Tinfinity (DVS)

New Girl

Jess catches the eye of a professional football player, with whom Winston landed an exclusive interview for his radio station. Meanwhile, Nick and Schmidt argue over the planning of their TinFinity party celebrating their tenth anniversary of living together, and Cece gets a surprise offer.

TV-14

7:30 AM

Quick Hardening Caulk (DVS)

New Girl

Jess comes to a conclusion about her romantic feelings for Nick and she struggles to tell him until she's hopped up on pain medication. But after admitting her feelings, she finds out he may have been keeping something from her. Meanwhile, Schmidt becomes obsessed with buying a fish, which Winston sees as a metaphor for Schmidt's unresolved feelings toward Cece, and Nick plans a bar promotion to impress the bar owner.

TV-14

12:00 PM

One with Rachel's Assistant, The (DVS)

Friends

Rachel is in a quandary when a sexy but unqualified man applies to be her assistant. Chandler, Monica and Ross tell embarrassing secrets about one another.

TV-PG

12:30 PM

One with the Engagement Picture, The (DVS)

Friends

Joey tries to teach Chandler how to smile for the camera. Phoebe and Ross bicker over their divorcing friends.

TV-PG

1:00 PM

One with the Nap Partners, The (DVS)

Friends

Rachel and Phoebe compete to be Monica's maid of honor but Monica doesn't want to make the decision. Chandler tries to apologize to a girlfriend from his youth.

TV-PG

1:30 PM

One with Ross's Library Book, The (DVS)

Friends

Chandler's former girlfriend manipulates Chandler and Monica. Rachel and Phoebe meddle in Joey's relationship.

TV-PG

2:00 PM

One Where Chandler Doesn't Like Dogs, The (DVS)

Friends

Chandler's irrational fear causes problems when Phoebe brings home a cute dog. Rachel's assistant gives her a Thanksgiving surprise.

TV-PG

2:30 PM

One with All the Candy, The (DVS)

Friends

Rachel gets in trouble for dating her assistant. Monica tries to become friendlier with her neighbors. Phoebe needs lessons in riding a bike.

TV-PG

3:00 PM

One with the Holiday Armadillo, The (DVS)

Friends

Ross teaches Ben about Chanukah. Phoebe worries that Rachel prefers living with Joey .

TV-PG

3:30 PM

One with All the Cheesecakes, The (DVS)

Friends

Phoebe's former boyfriend returns for one night only but Joey could ruin their plans. Monica plots revenge on her cousin's wedding day.

TV-PG